A new commandment I give to you, that
you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. –John 13:34 (NKJV)
Recently, I posted the
following question on Facebook: What is
one thing you wish the other parent would do or that you could work out with
them? Not surprising, this opened a floodgate of responses and emotions.
Below are the answers I received back…followed up by a passage of Scripture for
you to look up (please take the time to do this!) if in fact there is a certain
statement(s) you can relate to. Please also note, we cannot “fix” the other
parent, but we CAN pray for them! Some of these scriptures may not apply
directly to your situation, but rather to the sort of response YOU can have
towards whatever you may be facing. Keep your side of the street clean; entrust
the rest to God.
*I wish he would be
part of my daughter’s life…she is 5½ and he has never seen her and has no
interest (Psalm 57:7, 86:11-12)
*Respecting the child’s
wish to see other parent instead of keeping them away (Romans 12:19)
*Discipline the
children instead of playing friend role…no rules at his house…makes me the
“mean” parent (Eph 6:4)
*Quit pretending that
we are friends…you want to be friends? Fine, then there is a conversation that
needs to take place between us first. (Proverbs 18:21, Luke 6:45)
*(From a widow): I wish
we had been more purposeful about writing things ahead…setting up wills and
affairs before a crisis (1Tim 4:3-4, James 1:27)
*Stick to a schedule
and work on discipline techniques with me (Prov 13:24, 3:5-6, 33)
*Work on a set schedule
and don’t waiver from it…sets the kids up for disappointment and makes them
feel unimportant…all they want is for both parents to love them and make them
feel secure (Psalm 37:1,8)
*Respect and comply
with the judge’s orders… (Romans 13:1-2)
*Both parties always
feel they are right and the other is wrong. They carry the “I’m the better
parent card”…name calling, [which leads to] kids realizing who they would prosper most with and all but one reside
with me now… (Prov 15:1, Philippians 2:3, Eph 4:26-27, 29)
*Honest, open
communication…healthy, stable parental figure, kids first over extracurricular
activities (Matt 22:38, John 15:13)
*I wish my ex-wife
would do something, ANYTHING to show she cares for the kids. It breaks my heart
to see the hurt and anger in my kids. (Psalm 34:18)
*Acting “as if I do not
exist anymore”…one cannot co-parent like that. (Romans 12:17-18)
One
thing I have found out in single parent ministry: there are thousands of
dynamics and possibilities when it comes to single parenting situations; so
obviously this is a rather broad recap of some frequent issues we all may come
across. Although I cannot provide a “one size fits all” magical solution to the
examples above, I have also come to understand that I should not try. Jesus is
the ONLY one qualified to handle such a task…and He already has. The writer of
Hebrews tells us that we have a High Priest that has suffered in every way we
ever could (and then some!) and has cleared a path back to our Father for
reconciliation and restoration. As I have said before, don’t try to fight a
spiritual battle in the flesh. Fight spiritual battles in the spirit, for that
is where the battle (and victory) truly lays!
These things I have
spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have
tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world. –John 16:33
(NASB)
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