“I can’t
imagine being a single man and living in today’s world.” That statement came
from a female friend of mine as we were discussing sexual temptation and the
barrage of sexual images the average person crosses every day. Billboards.
Magazine or TV ads. And yes, the mall! I appreciate her honesty when she made
that statement but I am confident temptation is not limited to only single
guys. Any hot-blooded man (or woman) is in a continual battle of flesh vs.
Spirit on a daily basis- it only depends on which one they want to serve.
Regarding
being a single father though, sexual temptation and immorality has to be one of
the forefront battles we face continually. Whether it is a “peek” (or more)
online, some inappropriate flirting with a lady, or a relationship that has
crossed over purity barriers multiple times, we always seem to find an excuse
instead of owning up to the sin. We justify: “Well I can’t be expected to remain pure forever, what if I never get
married again?” Or, boredom sets in. Down time. Stress. Any one of these is
a trap waiting to happen if not replaced with a healthy alternative. Worst of
all, we begin to hang out with someone who we believe “gets” us. Maybe she has
been through a similar situation, is in a similar situation, or the perceived
feelings of you both helping each other turns fascination and excitement into
sin. Trust me, I know- I fell into this one several years back. Although we
didn’t go “all the way”, it wasn’t a God-honoring relationship and I eventually
broke it off.
The flesh is
extremely hard to crucify- it is a conscious choice we must make on a daily basis.
Overcoming it on the short-term will require setting boundaries and protective barriers based
on God’s Word (Psalm 119:9, 11, 101, 105), acquiring an accountability partner,
prayer and fasting, and keeping any “secret sin” exposed.
Long-term freedom means sticking to your guns when the heat comes and holding
fast to your boundaries; getting rid of any temptations or triggers, and ending
an unhealthy relationship. Any of the above may be painful, but to be able to
stand clean before God on a regular basis carries eternal weight versus
temporary and unfulfilling pleasures.
The Apostle
Paul tells us in 1Thess 4:3-5, 7: For
this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, you abstain from sexual
immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in
sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not
know God. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in
sanctification. (NASB)
Yeah, I
know…good teaching but tough living. Don’t beat yourself up if you fall or are
currently caught up in sexual sin; but don’t wait either! Begin making the
necessary changes in your life to live more pure and seek the Lord’s guidance
through prayer and wise counsel. It may sound cliché, but the satisfaction of
being able to stand with a clear heart, mind, and body before God will never be
overshadowed by worldly pleasure. Plus, you will now be setting the standard
for your children when they encounter the same struggles and will have an
unshakable foundation to lead them through it. You can do it Dad!
