Putting Faith to Action

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see…And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” –Heb 11:1, 6 (NIV)

There sure are a lot of good sermons out there on faith and we sure do sit there and nod our heads in the pews as our pastors bring these moving messages with such passion; BUT, when it comes time to make that step in your own life, can you truly walk without sight and trust God the ENTIRE way? I’ve recently encountered such a path in my own life and WOW- did God really show up! My path and future on this decision is still up in the air as of right now (at least on from my point of view) and I’m still walking blindly. All I can say is that the experiences and knowledge I’ve gained over the past week have really helped me to grow in my own personal walk with the Lord. Here is a quick summary of the tools and resources that brought me to this point recently. You may choose a slightly different approach, but the foundation here should remain consistent.

Fasting

I was never big on fasting until recently. I did it sporadically, but have definitely been more consistent lately. Fasting brings us to a point of humbleness and dependence on God and allows us to redirect our focus completely on Him- especially during that particular time frame. The book of Ezra points it out in this manner: “The hand of our God is favorably disposed to all those who seek Him, but His power and His anger are against all those who forsake Him. So we fasted and sought our God concerning this matter, and He listened to our entreaty.” –Ezra 8:22b-23 (NASB) In short, fasting allows us to bring ourselves before God’s Throne and petition Him to move in some form of our life. This could be financial, a life decision, a healing, or any other situation where we are completely dependent on Him. No matter what, as the verse above tells us, His hand is favorably at our disposal if we come before Him with the right heart and motives!

Scripture

The Bible is literally our road map or “driver’s manual” for life. You name it- it’s in there when it comes to how God desires us to live our life out for His purposes. During this most recent fast I was directed to multiple verses that helped lead me to the answer I was seeking. Here are a few I would recommend you begin to study (and memorize) to guide you along:

Isaiah 42:16

Romans 11:29

Prov 16:3, 9

Matt 6:33

Heb 11:1, 6

Heb 10:19-23

Col 1:10

No matter what, I would encourage you to dive into the Word consistently and find the passages that apply directly to your life circumstances. Chances are you will need them regularly, so there’s where the memorization comes in. God’s Word is perfect and is the only foundation we need to stand on (2Tim 3:16-17).

 

Prayer

The final portion of the blueprint for increasing our faith and being able to make those radical steps when God asks us to is obviously staying in constant communication with Him through prayer. Paul instructs us in Phil 4:6 to bring our petitions before God through prayer and with thanksgiving. What prayer does is brings verbal action to a seed that is already planted in our hearts. It is an act of humility and the ability to release ourselves and our circumstances over to God- thus giving Him full control and taking it out of our hands. Prayer is powerful and when done with a heart that is truly seeking Christ, extremely effective (James 5:16b).

Even with all of the above in place, a radical risk of faith can still be a scary move. Rest assured that God even covers that, as His Word uses the phrase “Do not fear” in one form or another over 300 times! I once heard a sermon by Robert Morris and he said, “Big destinies require big character”. What Pastor Morris is saying here is basically the bigger calling you believe God has on your life- the more He is going to require from you. Those words have stuck with me for years and really helped me to step out of my comfort zone when it comes to my own walk. So no matter where you are at right now in life, know that as Hebrews 11:6 states, it is impossible to please God without faith. Seek the Lord today and allow Him to bring you to that point of where you can step out of the boat- because that is where Jesus is and where else would we honestly rather be?

The Perception of Single Fatherhood- part 4

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” -2Cor 5:17 (NKJV)

 Our final portion of the series has wrapped up. We closed it out with the most important view on single fathers of all- how God sees us. If you look at the verse above, we focused on two very keys words: “in Christ”. We as a group discussed what that truly means. One answer that I especially appreciated was when one of the guys referred to being in Christ as “our identity”. When we are adopted into God’s family, we are given a whole new meaning in life, one that if we are truly walking with the Lord, cannot be shaken or stolen from us. A father who understands what this new identity is and walks accordingly is a powerful, powerful asset to the Kingdom.

Once again, I asked the dads several questions for discussion:

1.      Based on the Matthew West song, “Child of the One True King”, what was your “old” name in life, and now that we are “in Christ”, what is your new name? Previous identities were seen as “loser”, “addict”, and even some profanities. As born again sons of God, however, we became “son of the Most High”, “redeemed”, and “forgiven”. It was so great to see the men realize who they truly were as followers of Jesus Christ.

2.      Do we truly believe that His Word is true? Are we living it out in our own life?

 

3.      As a new creation in Christ, we have been “bought back” into right relationship with God. How will you take your new identity and apply it to your role as a father? I absolutely LOVED one of the answers one dad said: “Just because she left me doesn’t mean He will too.” Wow! Talk about understanding who you are in Christ! Of everything we discussed this night, this sentence hit me the hardest. I am absolutely blessed by the way I’ve seen some of these men grow and heal over the past several months. It just goes to show that when we stay submitted to God’s will, His promises will manifest themselves in our lives accordingly.

Some other verses we covered as a group were Mark 3:28-29, Prov 20:7, John 10:10, and 2Cor 1:20. Take some time to look those over when you can and see if/where they fall into your own life- whether you are a single parent or not. I closed the evening out with this final paragraph; and remember, we ALL have a new identity once we become “in Christ”.

“God does not see us as the world sees us; He doesn’t even see us as we see ourselves sometimes. What we must understand is that as new creations in Christ, we are perfect in every way. Jesus never promised that it would be easy, but He did say that through Him we can overcome anything. He tells us in John 10 that His sheep hear His voice. The question is ‘Are you listening?’”

 

Why Should Your Church Have a Single Father Ministry?

The Facts:

*Over 25 million children are growing up without their biological father in the home

*Fatherless children are much more prone to substance abuse, teen pregnancy, depression, poverty, criminal behavior, and suicide

*When a father IS involved with his kids, their overall self esteem, cognitive development, and school performance are increased.

*Only 12% of the single parent population attends church regularly

*FATHERS are called to be the spiritual leaders of their children (Eph 6:4)

I have been leading and ministering to single fathers for over four years now. In that time I have seen many of the men rise to the occasion of fatherhood despite mountains of adversity they were up against; and I have seen others crumble in the wake of the challenges of being a single parent and the trials that come along with it. One thing that I know to be true and consistent: it is always the fathers that are walking strong with the Lord and have a foundation built on Christ and other surrounding believers that were able to overcome. My own path has been no different. I have never known anything else other than being a single dad, since I was never married to my daughter’s mom. I came to Christ when she was about eight months old and founded the ministry a year later. In the past few years I have used both my experiences as a single dad and the love and support of other godly men who have mentored me to not only shape and sharpen myself for God’s purposes, but to also help pour into other men through the application of God’s Word in our lives. Still, I find there is virtually zip out there when it comes to ministering to single fathers- a demographic that simply cannot be overlooked any more. Trust me when I say that I understand in an area such as single parent ministries how  vast an array of dynamics come into play, but the key point is that it is the Church’s job to reach the lost, help the least of these, and show the love of Christ to everyone. With that being said, here are three questions that will help guide, and possibly build, your church towards the founding of a single father ministry:

1.     Is your church a refuge for single dads through already established programs?

If the answer to this is “no”, please do not feel bad. I also would like to clarify right off the bat that “single father” does not necessarily mean “full custody”. In my opinion (and I’m not alone here), a single dad is any father who is involved, or wants to be involved in his child’s life. True, moms usually are the primary caregiver, but there are plenty of loving fathers out there just looking to plug into a community of others doing life together and who understand what they face on a daily basis. Also, the single dad population obviously depends on the size of the church, as well as the demographics of the congregation. Certain areas just have a higher single parent population than others. If you do have a few single dads, just not enough to form a small group, then I would suggest partnering with other churches in your area with the same situation and form one multi-church group for everyone. If you need some material to begin the program, you can check out my book: A Father’s Walk: A Christian-Based Resource for Single Fathers on my website: www.afatherswalk.org. The book is set up in a small group format, and I am currently working on putting together an entire curriculum with workbook materials as well to go along with it.

  

2.     If a single parent approaches the church, whether they are a member or not, is there somewhere or to someone within church grounds that they are directed?
 

There are plenty of outside referral programs; single parents NEED to feel welcomed and catered to right in their own church. We just held this past March the second annual Grand Rapids Single Parenting Expo and I would say that the number one feedback comment I received from the public was “There just isn’t anything for single parents in the churches.” Yes, there are programs like Divorce Care and Single & Parenting, but they are temporary and must follow a curriculum. What happens when the program is done? Where do the parents go from there? Some possibly may join other groups, but considering the fact that single parents make up approximately 27% of all households and it is now the norm for children to be born out of wedlock, we simply cannot wait any longer for others to pick up the slack. I know many churches are already feeling the pinch when it comes to staff workload and financial resources, so that is why it is imperative to train other leaders (I would suggest a single father or two) who are sound in their walk with the Lord to take the reins and multiply small groups everywhere.

 

3.     Men’s groups are created for discipleship and community, but is a single father able to have his specific and unique struggles catered to through these groups?

Again, this is about focusing not only on discipleship as a whole, but meeting the needs of what single fathers face on a regular basis. How do we handle the moms in a Christ-like way if things get sticky? What about if a step dad comes into the picture? Or financial struggles such as child support? Anger and bitterness? Is it possible to leave a godly legacy even as a single parent? (The answer is YES! to that last one, by the way.) Sure, these are topics that are not usually addressed to a congregation as a whole, but that surely does not negate the fact that they are out there. Also, please know that single parenthood is across the board when it comes to race, age, economic status, and so on. It is not about “How did this happen?” but more like, “Ok, we have a situation here. Now, how do I heal, overcome, and get back on my feet so that we can ensure a Christ-centered life for both me and my children?” We have a small group on Thursday nights at a neutral location through A Father’s Walk here in Grand Rapids. In the past few months I have seen some of these guys grow in exponential ways and have seen some wonderful prayers answered. Although I had little to do with any of this (to God be the glory), it is still a huge blessing to me and confirmation that I am on the right track with the ministry (1Cor 7:17).

As I mentioned in the opening segment of this article, fathers are responsible to bring their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (see Eph 6:4). The Swiss did a study back in 1994 and the results based on this verse were astounding:

“In short, if a father does not go to church, no matter how faithful the mother’s devotions, only one child in 50 will become a regular worshipper. If a father does go regularly, regardless of the practice of the mother, between two-thirds and three-quarters of their children will become churchgoers (regular and irregular). If a father goes but irregularly to church, regardless of mom’s devotion, between half and two-thirds of their offspring will find themselves coming to church regularly or occasionally.” –Swiss study, 1994

I encourage everyone reading this to really begin to pray if this can become a reality in your church. There is something called “The Law of Diminishing Intent”. Basically, the longer we wait to do something, the less likely we will be to fulfill our original goal. Don’t wait on this. The next generations are hanging in the balance when it comes to either blessings or curses based on what happens with today’s fathers. My family lineage has been changed for God’s Kingdom, who will be next?

The Perception of Single Fatherhood- Part 3

“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.” –Psalm 139:13-14 (NKJV)

Our third portion of this series is on how we view ourselves and directed at one key point: God doesn’t make mistakes! Despite what even we may perceive ourselves as, this week’s small group is a perfect set up the final portion. As both single fathers and as God’s personal creation, it is imperative that we see ourselves as perfect and redeemed through the blood of Christ so we can live accordingly.

I asked the group several more questions for discussion:

1.     How do you see yourself as a single father?

2.     Why is the way we perceive ourselves so important? How does self-perception reflect our walk with Christ and us as dads?

3.     Since becoming a single father, how has God worked in your life?

Once again, the responses to these questions were all over the board, due to each of us at our own spot in life right now. I will say, however, that as the discussion went on and the guys began to realize just who they are in Christ, the atmosphere of the group began to change for the better and truth prevailed through the night.

Several more verses we touched on were:

Gen 1:26, Psalm 8:4, and Eph 2:10- all of which point back to God’s perfection and love for us.

I then read the final paragraph to the guys from my book:

I will leave you with this: know who you are in Jesus Christ; know that as a son of the living God, you carry a power and ability that is unmatched in this world. Know that God is constantly doing good work in you, that you can do all things through Him, and that He is with you always. As a father, you have the ability to bring your children to a level that they may or may not have ever achieved by themselves. You are an amazing creation, fearfully and wonderfully made. You are a disciple called to carry God’s Word and advance His Kingdom; you are a father- a calling worthy of God’s appointed. You have the ability to demolish strongholds over yourself and your children, and cement together the relationship with your sons and daughters on the Rock of Christ. Know these things; trust these things; believe these things.

We closed out the evening with one of my favorite songs currently, a song that depicts for all of us who we may have been before Jesus came into our lives and who we are now. Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuJWQzjfU3o