3 Recommendations From One Single Dad to Another

Single dads, please allow me to speak with you man to man here for a few minutes.

I recently had the honor of participating as a breakout speaker at the 10^th annual “Survive N Thrive” single moms conference in Oklahoma City. I have to say, this gave me a whole new perspective on what these ladies go through on a daily basis.

Here is a quick synopsis of what God revealed to me while I was down there:

In my line of ministry, I generally work with fathers who are the noncustodial parent. I see on a somewhat regular basis when dads are restricted from seeing their kids or the children are being manipulated against them by a mom’s spiteful tactics. I watch as parents gash at each other like wild dogs─ each one going for the other’s throat.

But then I found myself surrounded by hundreds of single moms in OKC, some of whose lives have been shattered by a father’s selfishness or abandonment. As I listened to the opening keynote session, God made it very clear to me:

Moms are not the enemy.

Dads are not the enemy.

The enemy is the enemy. ( And..he will do anything he can to steal, kill, and destroy in our lives.)

My breakout session was even more confirmation, as I witnessed several moms attending tear up while I spoke. I felt my heart breaking for them and wished I could offer an immediate solution, but was able to pray for them before we parted.

With that being said, I am going to give you a few take aways if in fact you find yourself not on the best of terms with your children’s mother:

1. Keep your side of the street clean.
Despite what may be happening in the other house, as your children’s father you are called to lead them and set the tone for their future. Stay consistent in your own walk with Christ first and foremost so that you can lead accordingly.

2. Do a heart check of your own.
King David is a perfect example of someone who constantly threw himself at God’s feet, pleading with the Lord to keep his heart pure. Put your own life up against the Word and begin immediately to make any changes in areas where things don’t match up.

3. Pray for your children’s mom─ daily.
There is no better way to model Christ to your kids and to begin the healing process than following His lead. Remain faithful in this and allow Him to take control. It may not bring instant clarity, but this is a great place to start!

Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties;
and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24

 

Single dads, are you doing your part when it comes to building your children’s mother up?

Origianlly published on July 23, 2014 at www.1Corinthians13Parenting.com

Only God Can Judge Me

For He is coming, for He is coming to judge the earth. He shall judge with righteousness, and the peoples with His truth. –Psalm 96:13

“Only God can judge me”. That is what the tattoo said across the chest of a guy who I recently observed was slandering and bashing Christians on a Facebook post. Being the curious fellow that I am, I jumped over to his Facebook wall and as expected, saw tons of worldly pictures, language, and such…none of which were God-honoring in the least. Now, I am not judging this guy by any means, I’m just using him as an example.

I brought this up in conversation with my accountability partner this morning. Our conclusion was that the phrase about God judging someone really has nothing to do with God at all. It’s basically just passing the buck as an excuse to do whatever you want. Anyone who TRULY believes that God is the ultimate Judge should in fact take their actions and lifestyle very seriously. Jesus tells us in Luke 12:4-5, “And I say to you, My friends do not be afraid of those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has the power to cast into hell, yes, I say to you, fear Him!” So is that to say that we need to walk on eggshells, constantly afraid as to whether we will be struck down by the Lord’s wrath? No, we as believers do understand that we are under the gift of grace─ but that comes with great responsibility too. Fearing God is a healthy respect for who He really is─ the One who spoke creation into existence and gave you and I life in the first place. He is the only one who deserves all of the glory and praise (Psalm 96:4).

The cross and grace should never be used by Christians as a crutch or excuse. It should never be used as a weapon or in a condemning manner towards unbelievers either. Is it true that only God can judge us? Absolutely. Every single one of us one day will stand before Christ and give an account for our lives (2Cor 5:10); but this should be even more motivation for us to seek Him now while He may be found and share it with the spiritually lost. Today, instead of engaging in long and drawn-out online disputes that rarely ever have a positive outcome, stay grounded in the Word, live it out in your own life, and take hold of the witnessing opportunities when they arise. When we do, we will have reason to celebrate rather fear when we stand before our eternal Judge…and Father, with a clean slate.

Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but through Me. –John 14:6