Therefore by Him let us continually
offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving
thanks to His name. –Hebrews
13:15 (NKJV)
I recently read a post by fellow
Christian author Elisabeth Klein entitled What I Hate & Love about Being Divorced. In short,
Elisabeth compiled a brief, yet fully packed, list of the pro’s and con’s (as
she points out─ the “love” portion is used loosely in regards to being
divorced) of living as a divorced and single mother. Well, I’ve had “one of
those weeks” myself when it comes to co-parenting, finances, work overload, and
trying to keep it all together as a leader and a father. Thus, Elisabeth’s post
sparked a thought of my own as to what I could consider the things I love and
hate (I prefer “dislike”) about being a single dad. So, here goes:
Dislikes:
*Not seeing my daughter every day
*Not being able to just pick up the phone and call her
any time I want
*She doesn’t have my last name
*Mom treats me like a second-class citizen rather than as
our daughter’s father
*I feel like she thinks the rules (court order) don’t apply
to her
*My daughter calls both me AND her step father “Dad”
*The generally accepted (and often validated) idea that
dads get the short end in custody and divorce cases, no matter how “fit and
willing” they may be
*I support my daughter’s relationship with her mom and
stepdad, but I don’t think it goes both ways
*Even though I have it rough occasionally, I often see
other single dads go through worse
*The anxiety of having to deal with nonsense and
illogic, and how it seems to creep up out of nowhere sometimes
*I need to go through my daughter’s teacher just to be
filled in on school stuff
*I have to call the doctor’s office to find out when
the next appointment is
*The fact that I sometimes allow the busyness of life
affect my precious time with my daughter
*Trying to co-parent through texts and emails as
opposed to talking civilly face to face
*Saying goodbye to my daughter after a concert or
game…as she goes one way and I go the other
*Not knowing if I will ever be able to have more kids,
because I’m not sure if I will ever be married
*(This can apply for any unequally yoked relationship):
Staying in the Spirit and holding to a higher standard when dealing with others
who don’t operate on the same level as we do
*Holidays or weekends with no significant
other…especially when I don’t have my daughter on those days either
*Not seeing my daughter every holiday or birthday
*Wishing I had “known what I know now” so I hadn’t put
myself or her in this situation
Love:
*Being a Dad is one of the greatest gifts EVER!
*I am active and completely involved in my daughter’s
life
*Despite her having to share her with a stepdad I don’t
know very well, our relationship keeps growing stronger and stronger and I
cherish my role as her father
*(Tailing off the above comment): When we are lying in
bed at night and she says in her adorable little voice, “Did you know you’re
the best daddy in the whole world?”
*Through Christ, I have been able to overcome and/or
deal with some of the trials listed above
*I know a good portion of how she will view herself as
an adult comes through my relationship with her now
*Me being active in her schooling will only reap
positive results
*When we are walking through a parking lot and her
little hand reaches up to hold mine
*When I do have her, I make the time count (to the best
of my ability)
*I still get to do all of the “Dad things”:
Rough-housing, playing, conferences, homework, concerts and games, movies, daddy/daughter
“date nights” (an especially valued benefit), paint her room, show her how to
do certain tasks, etc…
*God has given me the heart and ability to lead other
single fathers in Christ
*I realize being a Dad is FOR LIFE…not just ‘til she’s
18
*I get to take my daughter to church on the weekends I
have her
*I get to pray with her each time we are together
*Watching her grow through all the different phases of
life; and the fact I appreciate it all
*Though I may stumble as a dad, I know I won’t ever
fall…because my Father is perfect, and He is all I need to lead her
*Realizing that she doesn’t belong to me….I just get to
steward her for greater purposes
*I believe being a dad is included in Jesus’ promise of
“life abundantly” in John 10:10
*I have
witnessed how God has changed the lineage of generational curses I came from
and transformed it into generational blessings that is now being passed into my
daughter
*She gave
her life to Christ at age 6! (Note the above point)
I know this may not sit right with
our egos fellas, but check this out: When the going gets tough, the “tough” need
to hit their knees and go straight to God. That may not be in the
Bible, but it IS scriptural! Hold fast to His promises in your life today and
be sure to thank Him daily for the blessings He constantly bestows on each one
of us.
Blessed be the Lord, who daily loads
us with benefits… -Psalm
68:19
