An Antidote to Risky Behaviors

According to WebMD, when families eat together on a regular basis the children are less likely to become overweight, more likely to abstain from risky behaviors such as smoking, drinking, or drugs, and tend to perform better overall academically and socially. Unfortunately, we often allow technology and the busyness of life to creep into a time that should be reserved for family bonding. Believe me, the conviction is rising on this end too even as I type this! If in fact you have caught yourself falling short in this area, adjustments can surely be made. Here are a few quick tips:  

1. The obvious one is to shut off all distractions such as cell phones, TV, tablets, etc… Too much screen time is unhealthy for anyone, and I assure you nothing is going to happen on Facebook that is more important than investing in time with your children. And parents, please take the initiative on this! If they see you checking your phone once in a while then the entire purpose of the time together will be greatly hindered.  
    
2. Open up the conversation. During a recent dinner with my wife and daughter, I began the meal by asking them both something that they did during the week that was productive. As I had hoped, a simple question such as this broke into a few tangents and began a fun and enjoyable conversation. Families that can be open and honest during relaxed times will surely be more likely to share more difficult feelings during challenging times.
    
3. Be prepared to listen! Please don’t turn this into some mundane exercise that you go through and hope for the best results. As the WebMD article above states, your children are more likely to really open up to what is going on in their lives and you may catch something that can be addressed before it becomes more serious. If anything, they will pick up on your genuine interest in listening to what they have to say and that will build their self-esteem and confidence.
    
4. Read some Scripture after dinner. Jesus tells us that “Man shall not live on bread alone, but out of every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4) In other words, food fills our temporal bodies, but God’s Word fills our spirit! It doesn’t have to be long; a short passage nightly will build a foundation for them for years to come.
    

Whether you are married or doing life as a single parent, making the adjustments to have regular and healthy meals with your kids is too important to pass up. Don’t wait! Let’s bring dinner back to where it belongs: at the dinner table!

 

…Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees as they sit around your table. –Psalm 128:3b (NLT)

Parents, are you intentionally having dinner regularly at the dinner table with your children?


Originally published on August 31, 2015 at www.1Corinthians13Parenting.com.

Back to School, Dads!

Well, school is back (or soon to be back) in session! Summer vacations are winding down and schedules seem to flood back in action like a bursting dam (at least mine does). It is with precautions like this that we fathers need to be especially mindful of our importance in getting involved with our child’s schooling. Whether we are married or doing life as a single parent, study after study has found that fathers play a significant role in their child’s long-term academic success. Depending on the age of your son or daughter and the level to which you can commit to doing school work with them, here are a few quick tips on how to maximize your influence and still get some “Daddy time” in too:

1. Be intentional on setting time apart for school
    
   Know your child’s school schedule and atmosphere. Regularly check the school’s online calendar, get to know his or her teachers and stay in communication with them, and most of all: intentionally set time aside to do homework with your kids. This not only helps with school success, but shows your child that they are your primary focus- which is a tremendous act of love on your part.
    
2. Make time work for you
    
   Speaking from experience as a single father for over 9 years, I know how quickly weekday time can fly by. Plan ahead with dinner and get the important things done first (like homework, projects, etc) before you do play time. I know it may seem like a drag, but our job is to prepare our children to become responsible adults and this is one component of that. Of course, don’t become legalistic over it either. Look for new and creative ways to create opportunities for quality bonding time with them along the way.
    
3. Let your son or daughter know they are loved and affirmed
    
   Yes, we are to lead our children towards success in school and life; but as Paul so beautifully points out in 1Corinthians 13, if we do it without love- we completely miss the point. Always be sure to let your kids know that you love them, even when they fail; and affirm them when you see they are trying their best. This will mean far more to your son or daughter (and last infinitely longer) than any “A” on a test ever could!

Have a wonderful and blessed school year, Dad. And remember, we’re always learning on how to do this fathering thing too!