In a society where fatherlessness (or at least dads who
aren’t stepping up to the plate) runs rampant, one thought must race through
the minds of so many men and women out there: “How do you honor someone who
isn’t honorable?” This is a question I’ve wrestled with myself over the years-
both revealing the flesh side of anger and disappointment from my own
upbringing; as well as the spiritual side of love and grace since I became a
follower of Jesus. I have asked that question to a mentor of mine and gathered
my own conclusions along the way. Here are a few brief thoughts on the matter:
Sometimes “honor”
means not saying anything at all
We learn it early in life: “If you can’t say something nice,
don’t say anything at all”. The Bible consistently tells us that whether it is
slander, gossip, or retaliation, that life and death are in the power of the
tongue and the same mouth we use to bless God with should be used to build
others up, not tear them down. Our words carry great power, so let’s choose
them wisely.
Recognize the
holidays
Father’s Day and perhaps some of the major holidays may not
top (or even exist on) your list of “favorite things to do”, but again, to
honor our fathers may mean making the sacrifice to attend a family function; or
at least sending a gift or card with some kind words in it. Recognizing our
dads during such occasions is also a great way to allow the Lord to work on us and
soften our hearts along the way.
Allow God to heal the
wounded areas
In our recently-published book The Daddy Gap I make the statement,
“A wound will only become infected if it is left untreated.” In other words, failure
to address our “father wounds” can become potentially hazardous to many areas
of our lives such as our marriages and relationships with our own children.
There is healing at the Cross, and Christ is the only one who can completely
heal the damage our dads may have caused us.
In one way or another, our fathers have the ability to make
us or break us as adults. Nevertheless, if they fell short and missed the mark,
we are still commanded to honor them in a Biblical way. In doing so, our
heavenly Father will be glorified and He will bless us with eternal gifts that
even the greatest of dads down here could never provide his children.
Honor your father and
your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your
God gives you. –Exodus 20:12 (NASB)
Parents, are you honoring your earthly father in a way that
pleases the Lord?
Originally published at www.1corinthians13parenting.com on March 23, 2015
