Relationships and the Single Parent

Our final guest blogger of the month comes from someone very special to me.  Her name is Stacy Haight and she is a single mom living right here in Grand Rapids, MI.  Stacy's heart comes through loud and clear in her message, I pray her words will sink deep into all of our hearts in reaching into our children's. 


Relationships.  When you read that word what’s the first thing that comes to mind?  Boy and girl, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend?  If you’re anything like me then yes, that’s what would have come to mind a few years ago, but relationship’s are not just between men and women.   Relationship’s are between friends, mentors, teachers, leaders, brothers and sisters, parents, and the list can go on and on, this type of relationship’s are so important to our daily lives.  As a single parent you may already be thinking,”I don’t have time”, well you need to make time.   Ecclesiastes 4:10 says, “If one falls down, then his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” 

As a single parent this is something I have struggled with in the past and still to this day struggle with on occasion.  When you work full time and come home to children 24/7, you just don’t have any free time to give to anyone else.   It’s especially hard when you’re the ONLY parent in your child’s life. And let’s face it, when you’re a single parent you didn’t get to this point without going through some kind of heart ache, so why would you want to put yourself out there for another chance of getting hurt by anyone?   It took a few years for me to realize that I needed friends, that my children could not be my only friends.  I needed to have relationships besides the ones I had with my children.  Besides, how was I supposed to teach my kids how to have healthy relationships with others if I didn’t even make time for them myself?  As a parent our children are looking up to us constantly for guidance.  Whether you realize it or not they take their cue from us.     

 God has given us many scriptures throughout the Bible showing us how important it is to have those relationships.  Just a few for reference, James 5:16, Galatians 6:2, Philippians 2:3, Ephesians 6:4, 2 Corinthians 6:14.  Whether it’s a relationship with friends, family, co-workers or the Lord himself, we need to show our children what that looks like.  How we talk with them, how we laugh with them, how we treat them, how we work out a disagreement with them.  Above all though, how do we show our children our relationship with God?  Are we praying with them? Are we reading the Bible with them? Teaching them about scripture and how the most important relationship is the one you have with our Lord and Savior?  When we fail to show our children what this looks like, not only are we failing them but God and what he expects of us as parents.  He’s trusted us with one of his most precious of gifts, his children.

If you’re like me and have a hard time putting yourself out there and meeting people, start with small things.  Go on field trips when your child has them at school, help out in the nursery at church, join a single parents group in your area or look for one on Facebook that’s in your area.  These types of things will at least get you interacting and meeting all kinds of people.  Use that time in the car with your child to ask them about their day, ask them if they have any prayer requests, you’d be surprised at some of the things your child might ask for.  Above all pray with your child, any chance you have, teach them how to be thankful for the smallest of things, pray for their friends and future relationships, that they would be Godly and uplifting healthy relationships.  I have been recently blessed with many new relationships, and I have to say that it’s made a world of difference in my attitude and relationship with God.  In fact my relationship with the Lord has grown leaps and bounds because of the support I receive from these relationships, one in particular has encouraged me so much I have become a stronger person because of it.  And I thank God everyday for bringing this person into my life, not only because of the changes that came with them but all of the life lessons I’ve learned since and can now use to teach my children in the future.  No matter where we are in life or how young or old we may be, God wants us to have those relationships to help us carry one another when need be.  I pray God guides you in the direction you need to be to attain these types of relationships, it’s never too late to make new friends!