Possess Your Vessel

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor…” -1Thess 4:3-4 (NKJV) 

 

I was at a men’s conference this past weekend.  One of the topics a pastor spoke about was the title of this blog: “Possess Your Vessel”.  Now, I really don’t think I need to go into detail of what that phrase means for us men, it should be pretty clear given the context it is used in.  As men of God, we are called to be the leaders and protector of multiple areas for God’s purpose.  Unfortunately, one of the areas we struggle in the most as a whole and individually are the area of stewarding our own bodies- one part in particular. 

You know the story in Genesis: God created woman to be with man.  Marriage and sex were God’s ideas- to be used within His statutes and for Him to be honored with.  We were created to enjoy intimacy with the opposite sex, all within the bounds of marriage.  Then along came the fall of man, sin entered the world, and sexual perversion has dominated in many ways since.  UNTIL!!!  The blood of Jesus Christ was shed on the Cross- bringing us back into right relationship with God and giving us the power to be freed from sin once again.  Still, we struggle.  Overcoming and domination of the flesh is a constant process, no matter your maturity level in your walk with Christ.  Our job as men, however, is to recognize the strengths and ordaining the Lord has put upon us to be such overcomers. 

Whether your struggle is with premarital or extramarital sex, pornography, or other forms of lust, it all is a major roadblock in keeping us from reaching our full potential in Christ.  What must you do to “possess” your own vessel- to take full dominion over your body?  It all starts with surrender and submission DAILY to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.  I have a friend that was just recently married.  He and his fiancée did it right- they waited until marriage to be intimate with each other and married as virgins.  Although I will never have the opportunity to present myself to my bride in such a pure manner, I (and you) have the opportunity to do the best with what we have, and if you haven’t already, begin your journey for sexual purity immediately.  I asked my friend last year “Isn’t it hard abstaining?  Don’t you ever wonder what it would be like to have sex or be intimate with a woman?”  His reply?  “No, because it’s not an option.”  Wow!  I don’t think I can really describe what that phrase has meant to me since I first heard it.  What a perfect example of being submitted to God’s sovereignty.  I have used that phrase several times since with other men. 

Men of God, the foundation has been laid, the blueprint has been written, and we are equipped with everything we need to take back full control to steward our bodies and build these temples for God’s glory.  The question is, “Are you ready to begin the rebuilding process?”

 

“Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” –Gal 5:16 (NKJV)

Buried in Sin

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.  For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.  But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light.  Therefore He says: “Awake you who sleep, arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.” –Eph 5:11-14 (NKJV)

I recently read a disturbing article about Arnold Schwarzenegger and his utter lack of compassion for having multiple secrets (including several affairs- one which produced a son) during his marriage to Maria Shriver.  It seems the Terminator was able to disguise having open heart surgery, and even kept running for governor a secret until the time came to begin campaigning.  The end of the article is what got me the most though.  Arnold was quoted as saying, “Dwelling on it, like some people do, you know, years later say, ‘Oh yeah, I lost this, and I will never forget that.  I’m still suffering.’  No, that’s not me,” he said.  “I don’t suffer over anything that I’ve lost.”

What I conclude out of that statement is a reality that many of us endure on a regular basis: when we are walking in sin and completely separate ourselves from God’s forgiveness, we become completely numb to it, but yet still understand its devastating effect on our life.  As individuals created in God’s image, anything outside of His Word in our daily walk is foreign to us.  Yet, due to the fall of mankind thousands of years ago, most people are still unwilling to repent and turn from their sin and come back into reconciliation with God through the blood of Jesus Christ. (Romans 5:11, 19) 

If you know anything about Arnold, you may recall that one of his nicknames back in the day was “The Oak”.  Well, check out these verses from Isaiah: “Surely you will be ashamed of the oaks which you have desired, and be embarrassed at the gardens which you have chosen.  For you will be like an oak whose leaf fades away or as a garden that has no water.  The strong man will become tinder, his work a spark.  Thus they shall both burn together and there will be none to quench them.” –Isaiah 1:29-31 (NASB)

I really don’t think that passage could have been written any more perfectly for this topic!  Despite all of his physical strength, fame, and fortune- Arnold has been left in spiritual ruins.  If in fact today you are walking in unconfessed sin, I pray you will not follow the same course, but rather, plant your roots in the living water of salvation through Christ, expose your sin, and grow into the mighty man or woman of God you were created to be!

Trick or Treat...

Ok, this will be another one of my blog posts that may or may not come across as very popular.  No scriptures to start off with, no article posts, just my personal view and opinion on traditions such as Halloween, the Easter bunny, and whatnot.  My main reason for posting this is to share not only my two cents worth on these topics, but to shed light on an area we Christian single parents may often overlook.  So here goes...

In short, I did a study on the history of Halloween, carving pumpkins, the Easter bunny, Santa, and other topics last year.  What I discovered confirmed a lot of what I had already suspected.  If you do the research yourself, you will find some very dark and demonic roots to Halloween and Jack-o-Lanterns, and the Easter bunny is basically a pagan god for fertility.  We basically tell our kids not to fib or tell lies, but we share stories of tooth fairies and flying reindeer for the first 5-10 years of their lives.  Now don't get me wrong, I vividly remember the mystery and excitement I had as a child when it came to jolly ol' St. Nick, but I didn't grow up in a Christian home either. 

So am I saying that if we participate in any of these traditions that we are not Christians?  Absolutely not.  However, we ARE to be our kids' number one leadership when it comes to raising them in Christ.  Easter (or Resurrection Day) is to celebrate the single greatest moment in the history of the world- the death and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, and Christmas is to remember His birth. In fact, I made the decision to tell my daughter the truth about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the tooth fairy at the beginning of this year while she was still 5 years old.  I explained to her that I was telling her all of this because we are supposed to be focusing on Jesus first in our lives.  Her reaction?  Nothing- she was totally cool with it.  She loves Jesus passionately already and I'm not going to hinder either my walk or hers. 

So what can be some alternatives?  I have decided that for Halloween I will take her out somewhere fun: like Chuck-E-Cheese or the movies or something.  That way she doesn't miss out on any of the fun at all.  She can have plenty of chocolate at Easter- but I'm leaving the bunny out of the mix.  And of course, presents at Christmas time, but knowing that she knows and understands the true "reason for the season" in the first place.

I would encourage everyone reading this to do your own research on these holidays and match them up with Scripture; then come to your own conclusions.  Our world already has a full-blown assault on our children's souls.  The atheists and Muslims are training their kids up in their ways, but we're focusing on imaginary people and creatures.  If we are to train up the next generation for God's purposes, then it MUST begin with we parents on the home front.  Remember Paul's words in Romans 12:2:  And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. (NASB, emphasis added)

Trees

But the godly will flourish like palm trees and grow strong like the cedars of Lebanon. –Psalm 92:12 (NLT)

 

Most of us are aware of two of the biggest species of trees on the earth: the Giant Sequoias and the Redwoods.  Here are a few brief but fascinating facts about these giants:

They can grow to over 300 feet tall.

They can live for several THOUSAND years!

They weigh upwards of 500 tons (1 million pounds).

Their bark can be anywhere from 12-36 inches thick.

 

As impressive as all of this is, I found some other research that was even more amazing and helped to inspire this blog:

The Giant Sequoias rely on fire to survive- both to destroy competing vegetation and to help promote seed release from their cones.

The trees produce a substance known as tannin, which helps protect the bark from fire, bug attacks, and disease.

The root system of the Redwood is very shallow, despite the trees massive height and weight. They survive by entangling with each other beneath the ground- thus holding each other upright. 

 

So what can we, as followers of Christ, learn from these natural wonders? Let’s see:

We too often need to endure “fires” in our life to draw closer to God. Competition for the “Son’s” light in our lives (such as worldly wants, desires, and lusts) need to be destroyed first so we can grow. Also, despite the fact the trials/fires aren’t always pleasant when we’re going through them; sometimes new life must begin through the ashes.  (See 1Pet 4:12-13 & 5:10)

Just like the tannin, which protects, we must DAILY put on the full armor of God to protect us against fires, attacks, and spiritual “disease”. (Eph 6:10-18)

We must rely on other believers as well to help hold us up when we feel like falling.  This could be in any form of accountability, mentorship, and/or fellowship. (Ecc 4:9-12)

 

Finally, and probably most important of all, is the Redwood’s ability to regenerate itself to continue existence.  Here is a portion of an article I read recently:

One of the keys to the survival of the Redwood is its regenerative abilities. One of the regenerative capabilities of the Redwood involves the burl. A burl is made up of dormant Redwood stems, and is covered in bark. A burl grows when a Redwood is cut, damaged, injured, or diseased. A burl is a lumpy outgrowth from the tree’s trunk, often at its base. Saplings may sprout from these burls. The trees which result from growth originating in a burl are genetically identical to the original tree.

Jesus tells us in Matt 7:17 that “a good tree bears good fruit”.  Therefore, if we are walking solid with the Lord and within His statutes, the natural byproduct will be another generation of strong Christian disciples, including our own children; thus, ensuring our legacy and impact on the world- even after we’ve left this life for the next. 

Back to School: A Father's Involvement

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. -Deut 6:6-7 (NIV)

Well, we're back to school!  The dog days are all but over, schedules have tightened up, and football is in the air- yes! (Sorry, I just had to throw that in there.)  Even so, our responsibility as the head of our household remains in one area that is often overlooked by many dads- involvement in our children's education.  Whether you are a single father or not, our position as our children's guide doesn't end always at 5pm (or whenever we get home from work).  Dads that take an aggressive approach in their children's schoolwork help to develop strong, sound, and confident students. 

As a non-custodial single dad myself, I obviously have limited time with my daughter and her schoolwork.  I have found it quite accommodating, however, to remain in direct contact with her teachers in the past and even if she does not bring any homework over to my house, we still frequently read books together, do mind-stimulating arts and crafts, and some educational workbooks.  Remember how fun it was to play school when we were growing up?  Use that sort of technique to your advantage in helping your kids grow.  I am attaching a link to an article from the National Center for Fathering with thoughts that go along with this blog, but whatever approach you take is up to you- just make sure to stay as actively involved as much as you can.  We are our children's number one leader in BOTH the natural and supernatural- always remember that.  Here's the link to the article: http://fathers.com/new-study-time-with-dads-helps-teens.

Have a wonderful, safe, and blessed school year!

HIS Barn

“Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” –Prov 27:17 (NASB)

 

Today’s writing is about paying tribute to a ministry in Byron Center, MI known as “His Barn”.  It is in this place that my ministry “A Father’s Walk” was birthed.  His Barn was founded by Scott Baker, who owns the property and pole barn the group is located in.  It was in early of 2008 that Scott began a small group of 12 men (I wonder where he got that number from?), of whom I was a part.  From the beginning, the barn has had a sense of God’s presence about it.  Men were free to come and go as they wished, and always welcomed just as they were.  The older (I didn’t say old) men poured into us younger ones and the first thoughts that led to where I am today with the single dad ministry stemmed from the very simple question, “What are you working on that is BIG for the Kingdom?” 

Over the years, the group has changed in attendance and size, as I suppose anything in life is bound to due to work, family, and circumstances.  Through the course of it all, the original core group of Scott, Todd, Greg, James, Mark, and “Double Nickel” has opened doors for new leaders such as Clutch, Curt, and Doug.  The ministry even has connections to other organizations and their heads across the US.  It has hosted Right of Passages, couples’ nights, and over the past five years- a revival just for men.  The revival is by far the highlight of every year at the barn.  What began as 80 men congregating in a pasture five years ago has now grown to over 500.  Speakers have come from every walk of life and denomination, but all have one purpose in mind: to create a generation of men equipped as soldiers of Christ and able to pour into the lives of other men.  As men, we are called to be the head, leaders, warriors, and protectors of our households- all while often laying our own pleasures and wants down for the good of our wives and kids.  My prayer is the reach of the barn and its mission will be yet another vessel that the Lord uses for His purposes. 

I am truly grateful for my experience of being part of His Barn.  I am also so blessed that Scott took a chance on a young convert and allowed this group of modern day disciples to invest in me.  Although I have moved on in my life in regards to attending the barn, the passion, examples, and gifts ingrained into me will forever be a part of my ministry.  I challenge every man reading this to pick up his cross and follow the Lord Jesus Christ in sharpening other men.  Whether you are in a pasture or an arena, a barn, a home, or on a street corner, one thing will always remain: our commission to go and make disciples of all the nations. 

 

For more information on the barn and the revival, visit www.barnrevival.org. 

Relationships and the Single Parent

Our final guest blogger of the month comes from someone very special to me.  Her name is Stacy Haight and she is a single mom living right here in Grand Rapids, MI.  Stacy's heart comes through loud and clear in her message, I pray her words will sink deep into all of our hearts in reaching into our children's. 


Relationships.  When you read that word what’s the first thing that comes to mind?  Boy and girl, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend?  If you’re anything like me then yes, that’s what would have come to mind a few years ago, but relationship’s are not just between men and women.   Relationship’s are between friends, mentors, teachers, leaders, brothers and sisters, parents, and the list can go on and on, this type of relationship’s are so important to our daily lives.  As a single parent you may already be thinking,”I don’t have time”, well you need to make time.   Ecclesiastes 4:10 says, “If one falls down, then his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” 

As a single parent this is something I have struggled with in the past and still to this day struggle with on occasion.  When you work full time and come home to children 24/7, you just don’t have any free time to give to anyone else.   It’s especially hard when you’re the ONLY parent in your child’s life. And let’s face it, when you’re a single parent you didn’t get to this point without going through some kind of heart ache, so why would you want to put yourself out there for another chance of getting hurt by anyone?   It took a few years for me to realize that I needed friends, that my children could not be my only friends.  I needed to have relationships besides the ones I had with my children.  Besides, how was I supposed to teach my kids how to have healthy relationships with others if I didn’t even make time for them myself?  As a parent our children are looking up to us constantly for guidance.  Whether you realize it or not they take their cue from us.     

 God has given us many scriptures throughout the Bible showing us how important it is to have those relationships.  Just a few for reference, James 5:16, Galatians 6:2, Philippians 2:3, Ephesians 6:4, 2 Corinthians 6:14.  Whether it’s a relationship with friends, family, co-workers or the Lord himself, we need to show our children what that looks like.  How we talk with them, how we laugh with them, how we treat them, how we work out a disagreement with them.  Above all though, how do we show our children our relationship with God?  Are we praying with them? Are we reading the Bible with them? Teaching them about scripture and how the most important relationship is the one you have with our Lord and Savior?  When we fail to show our children what this looks like, not only are we failing them but God and what he expects of us as parents.  He’s trusted us with one of his most precious of gifts, his children.

If you’re like me and have a hard time putting yourself out there and meeting people, start with small things.  Go on field trips when your child has them at school, help out in the nursery at church, join a single parents group in your area or look for one on Facebook that’s in your area.  These types of things will at least get you interacting and meeting all kinds of people.  Use that time in the car with your child to ask them about their day, ask them if they have any prayer requests, you’d be surprised at some of the things your child might ask for.  Above all pray with your child, any chance you have, teach them how to be thankful for the smallest of things, pray for their friends and future relationships, that they would be Godly and uplifting healthy relationships.  I have been recently blessed with many new relationships, and I have to say that it’s made a world of difference in my attitude and relationship with God.  In fact my relationship with the Lord has grown leaps and bounds because of the support I receive from these relationships, one in particular has encouraged me so much I have become a stronger person because of it.  And I thank God everyday for bringing this person into my life, not only because of the changes that came with them but all of the life lessons I’ve learned since and can now use to teach my children in the future.  No matter where we are in life or how young or old we may be, God wants us to have those relationships to help us carry one another when need be.  I pray God guides you in the direction you need to be to attain these types of relationships, it’s never too late to make new friends!