“Guilty as
charged.” That’s how I stand on this one. For a good portion of my daughter’s
early years I found myself constantly competing with her mom…vying for my
daughter’s approval (despite her being too young to know any different
anyways). I was fighting a losing battle, one that I (literally) could not
afford much longer. It actually got to the point of where I used to loathe
saying “we can’t afford that” or “I don’t have any money”. What I should have
been doing all along was investing in my daughter with the things I could
control: my time, my resources, and the way I handled it all. I allowed things
that didn’t matter to crowd out the things that did- I wonder how many other
single parents do the same?
Look guys,
whether you have primary custody or minimal, PLEASE don’t make the same
mistakes I did! I allowed my pride to distract me from my parenting; and often negative
emotions to dominate positive ones. If you currently find yourself doing the
same when it comes to comparing yourself to the other home, then STOP! Seriously,
nothing is more important than investing in your kids through your words, time,
and acts of love. Some of the best times I’ve had with my daughter since I
broke free from this trap have included building a cardboard neighborhood on
the floor, climbing dunes in the summer and sledding down hills in the winter,
annual trips through a local Christmas light attraction, and telling her funny
stories at bedtime. When it’s all said and done, these are the things I’m sure
she will remember when I’m gone…not the big trips or flashy gifts.
Sounds good,
I know; but I also realize how emotions can get the best of us too. If you
still struggle with feeling inadequate or how “fair” things seem to be, then I
highly recommend you bring it before the Lord in prayer and ask Him to guide
your heart. Focus on getting Christ in and let Him do the heart transplant. Ask
Him to give you fresh ideas and to bring new opportunities forth for you to do
with your kids. And by all means, don’t stop the traditions you already have
going with them! If anything, this will show strength and resilience on your
part to be able to overcome trials and still be able to pour into your son or
daughter.
Jesus tells
us that the greatest love we can show is laying our lives down for others (John
15:13) and Paul reminds us that the things that last forever are often that
which we cannot see (2Cor
4:18). What prayer can you start praying today and what moves can you begin
to make to take the competition between homes out of your life and replace it
on a foundation in Christ?
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