Single
parenting is birthed out of loss: primarily the loss of a relationship; but
often followed by areas such as finances, possessions, and as we discussed in
the previous post- maybe even our identity. If our foundation has been rocked,
or it wasn’t very sturdy to begin with, it is quite easy to covet others’
lives. As time passes on, we may see an even greater increase in this if we
don’t stay on alert. Holidays become more difficult to bear as couples seem to
be everywhere celebrating together; our broken down rides stick out like a sore
thumb next to someone else’s new car; perhaps your ex has a new man around your
kids and that’s a tough one to swallow; and don’t even get me started on how easy
it is to lose focus on social media! Did you know that studies have shown that
the more often someone (usually teens in this case, but I think it applies to
all) is on Facebook the more depressed they become? Why? Because most of us
only post the good things on social media, thus our lives seem so mundane
compared to theirs. Of course, they are looking back at your life and thinking
the exact same thing!
The point is,
being jealous (i.e. coveting) is a sin (Exodus 20:17), and God never meant for
us to live that way. It may sound cliché, but as you learn to find contentment
in what you DO have and the eternal value in those things you have the
opportunity to gain a whole new perspective on life. Trust me, I used to loathe
saying “we don’t have money for that” to my daughter. I got caught up in trying
to compete with her mom and that side of the family rather than parenting her
the way God intended me to. I have now found ways to create awesome memories
that she and I can hold on to forever- and most of the time they come at zero
to minimal cost! You can do the same too.
Jesus tells
us in Matthew 6 not to worry about what we will eat or wear- to seek first the
kingdom of God and the rest will be added to us. Paul follows this up in
Philippians 4 by telling us we have the ability (through Christ) to be content
in all of life’s circumstances. Where do you find yourself today? Do you find
yourself becoming jealous of what others have (or what you don’t have)? Is
there something of the sort that is eating away at you and stealing your joy
and hindering your ability to parent your children effectively? Or, do you find
yourself dying daily to the things of old and seeking things with an eternal
value? When we can get to the point that we no longer desire what others have,
but find true contentment in the blessings that are already around us, we reach
a crucial point of maturity in our faith walk and avoid one of the most
deceptive traps that can be thrown our way. I pray the result will be the memories you and
your children will be able to dwell upon some day and see how God was working
all along.
So we fix our eyes on not what is
seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seem is temporary, but what is
unseen is eternal. -2Cor
4:18 (NIV)
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