In order for you to be a SMART single dad and to get where you want to go you must first know where you are at this very moment. Not where you were 30 minutes ago. Not where you were a week ago or a year ago. But right now. You put in your "NOW Location" and your "TO BE Location" and click start. And wa-lah! Your GPS takes you to your wanted location.
I want this article to be your GPS for all you single dads out there. All SMART single dads must know the lay of the land and where they fit in among all the different types of single dads.
I was a single parent dad for over 15 years after my wife died in an automobile accident. I raised my three children from ages five, nine and eleven. Two sons and a daughter. They are now 26, 31 and 33. Between them I have three grandchildren. I am now married to a lovely lady and I have three stepchildren and four step grandchildren. I have been where you are as a single parent dad. I have been there, done that and worn that single dad t-shirt that you are now wearing. It’s not where I wanted to be, but it is where I was. I am sure it’s not where you planned to be or want to be. It’s just where you now are…
Well here we go, entering single dad’s "NOW Location".
Over 15 million single parents
Over 2.5 million single dads
1 out of 6 single parents are single dads
50% of first marriages end in divorce
60% of second marriages end in divorce
65% of second marriages with children end in divorce
70% of third marriages end in divorce
80% of co-habitors that marry divorce
41% of families in U.S. are single parent led
52% of families in my state of Mississippi are single parent led
66% of families in Atlanta, GA are single parent led
39 million children of single parents are unchurched
40% of marriages are second marriages
80% of children over 18 yrs. will leave the church
6.5 million Grandparents are raising grandchildren
60% of babies born are to unwed moms (thus also single dads)
The average marriage lasts 5 years in U.S.
The average time between marriages is 3.5 years in U.S.
75% of all children under age 18 in the U.S. will spend at least some time in a single parent
household
Of children living with one parent:
· 38% live with a divorced parent
· 35% live with a never-married parent
· 19% with a separated parent
· 4% with a widowed parent
· 4% with a parent whose spouse lives elsewhere
As a single parent you’re definitely not alone – not with over 15 million of you out there. You all face similar challenges. Each year the percentage of single parent household’s continues to grow. As you can see single-parent families are a diverse and ever growing segment of our social fabric and not uncommon at all, anymore.
Arriving at your "TO BE Location".
Your "TO BE Location" is to be the best single dad to your children you can possibly be.
As a single parent dad I wanted to be the very best dad to my children I could. I hope your goal, no matter how you became a single dad, is the same as mine was. Our children are not really ours. They are a gift from God. Given in trust to us to raise and train as they grow and mature.
No matter your situation or your physical location to your children, you are called to "Man-up", "Put on your big boy pants", "be a real man" and a "real dad" to your children. A real dad is not a perfect dad, but an involved dad. My life as a single dad was a juggling act. Jugglers drop things, and so did I. So will you. No big deal. Just stay as involved as you can possibly be with your children in your particular situation. No excuses, just finding ways to stay active in your children’s lives.
I just got back from a long trip to Pensacola. Yep, used my GPS. Knew where I was when I started and knew where I wanted to end up. Had a few rough stretches, almost made a wrong turn or two. Had to adjust on the fly. Arrived safe and sound at my "TO BE Location – my oldest son’s home". Yep – I’m still trying to be the best, most involved dad I can be.
My hope and prayer for you is that you will reap the many, many rewards that come with being the best single parent dad you can be. Love them, hug them and stay involved in your children’s lives. That is what real life is all about.
"When I am old and gray, judge me as a father by the number of times I said, "I love you," and how often I was able to say, "I’m sorry." -Richard Zmuda
Learn more about James Cruise at James Cruise Ministries
www.jamescruise.com
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