How Single Dads Can Help Their Children Celebrate Mother's Day

I got to help my daughter celebrate Mother’s Day with her mom for about five years before she got married. Although I can’t put a finger on any specific gifts or cards we gave her, I know we always did something. Regardless of what sort of terms Mom and I were on any given year, I was fortunate enough to recognize the teaching moments these presented- to both my daughter and I.  

What we are teaching our children

One of my favorite fatherhood quotes is by Clarence B. Kelland. He said, “My father didn’t tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it.” Our kids don’t always need to know what is going on between their mother and us; they just want to have fun and love on both of their parents equally. When we help them make Mom a card for Mother’s Day or go with them to pick out a gift (which is from them, but purchased with our money), we are teaching our sons the invaluable lesson of respecting women and we are telling our daughters (who usually end up marrying someone like their father) that they are worthy and should be treated as so. Most importantly, we are spending quality time and helping them to love their mom. I would say in most cases this is a win-win.

What we are teaching ourselves

I have no idea where you and your child’s mother stand as co-parents. Perhaps everything is civil and running smooth; or maybe you are about as far in the opposite direction as you can possibly be. Either way you have a great opportunity right before you to grow as a person and as a father. By engaging with your kids in something that you really don’t have to do is a great example of humility and kindness- neither of which we men should be ashamed of. Putting your personal feelings aside for the sake of your children is a portrayal of selflessness and unconditional love. You are saying to your kids, “I love you so much, and what is important to you is important to me, no matter what.” This is not a sign of weakness, but rather, one of tremendous strength!

What this means in the long run

The Bible tells us in John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” You may not consider your ex a “friend” per say, but I bet you consider your son or daughter much more than that! Think of it in that regard: by dying to yourself in order to love your children more, you are setting an example of perfect love. 1John 4:19 says, “We love, because He first loved us.” When we can truly grasp the magnitude of how much God has done for us, then it only becomes natural for it to flow into other areas of our lives. Even if you are doing it just for them, helping your kids honor their mom this Mother’s Day will have a greater impact than you may know. When it’s all said and done, your children will have a great day and you will have grown as a father and as a role model- both of which this world desperately needs more of!

It isn’t the big pleasures that count the most; it is making a great deal out of the little ones. -Annonymous