Accepting Trouble

Our third guest blogger this month is my good friend Dawn Walker, founder and director of Single Parent Missions and my coauthor for our upcoming book "The Daddy Gap". Dawn is one of the most passionate and Christ-centered people I know; and a force to be reckoned with when it comes to leading single parents in faith in Christ. For more information and to sign up for her daily "Hope Notes", please visit www.singleparentmissions.org.

“His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!” He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”
–Job 2:9-10 (NIV)

 
How good are you at accepting trouble? I don’t mean trouble like you can’t find your car keys, but the kind of trouble that makes even the people around you question how God could possibly love you if He would allow something so painful and unfair to happen.

As single parents, most of us know a bit about this kind of trouble. Even as I speak, it’s been 30 days since I’ve seen my 10-year-old son. The court granted his dad a 6-week visit for the first time this summer, and it was hard to let him go. Not because I’m codependent and can’t be apart from him, but because he would be five states away and I don’t have great confidence in his dad’s integrity. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I would get my son back.

But I knew I had to trust God and let him go.

About three weeks into his visit, I was in Texas for a business trip, just 30 minutes from where he lived, and politely asked if I could see my son for just an hour, just to say hello and give him a hug. There was no response. When I called for the one time a week I was supposed to be able to talk with my son, there was no answer. Four days later, I still had not heard from my son and had no way to get in touch with him.

There was a part of my heart that was screaming for justice and not wanting to accept this trouble. And yet, I sensed God was trying to teach me something in it…to let go and trust Him in all situations, especially those that are completely unfair and totally out of my control. Because if I truly believe that He loves me, that He is always good and everything that happens is for my good, then I should be able to accept everything, right? Even those things that feel utterly wrong and bad.

As Julian of Norwich said in Revelations of Divine Love:

See that I am God. See that I am in everything. See that I do everything. See that I have never stopped ordering my works, nor ever shall, eternally. See that I lead everything on to the conclusion I ordained for it before time began, by the same power, wisdom and love with which I made it. How can anything be amiss?

Job had to learn this truth through some unbelievably painful and unfair trials. And I had to learn it too. Only with this perspective—only with the lens of God’s faithfulness through stories like Job’s—was I able to fight off the urge to curse God and retaliate by bombarding my ex with accusing messages and threats to get him to comply with our agreement. Trusting my Heavenly Father’s grace, I did nothing, sent not one message, but waited on God…for days. Interestingly, as I was in the middle of writing this, my phone rang and it was my son. Hearing his sweet voice and knowing he was okay was such a relief. And seeing him get off the plane just a few days ago and give me a huge hug was such a gift to my heart.

But I think the best gift was the reminder that God is always in control. When I trust Him in my trouble, and accept good and bad as something He is doing to accomplish His purposes, He will grow my faith and like Job, bring great rewards in the end.