The Perception of Single Fatherhood- Part 2

“One generation shall praise Your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.” –Psalm 145:4

Continuing with our current small group series, we have moved on from how the world sees us as single dads to how our children view us. The first main point we talked about was why fathers are so important in a child’s life in the first place. Whether we are married or not, FATHERS are the spiritual and life leaders of their children. Now, obviously many men fall short in this area and some never step up to the plate, but that does not negate the fact that we are called to lead. We bring authority and discipline, but also a strong sense of love and protection too. 

Our small group is across the board when it comes to custody arrangements and past relationships. About half of us have never been married, while the other half is divorced. One of the guys has full custody of his kids while some of us have only had them minimally. Despite these external factors, our kids may view us differently than they would if we were in intact two parent households. My daughter has never known any different- since I was never married to her mom. However, I have been there since day one and much like some of the other men in the group, I have poured into her more than perhaps some dads do who have their kids all the time. (I’ll touch more on this in a minute.) Others have had some resistance when it came to the kids adapting to the new living conditions. Bottom line is, no matter what is going on now, we as fathers have the God-given responsibility to bring our sons and daughters up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord (Eph 6:4).

Finally, I asked the question as to what were some pros and cons to being a single parent. Obviously, some of the stressors are lack of time, energy, and often financial resources to do more outgoing things. We also are not able to see our kids all of the time, tuck them in bed, or even ask them how their day was. But…we ARE able to give them our undivided attention when we do have them, and some great one on one time. According to one statistic, the average father (married or not) only spends about one hour a day with his children. Having our children in our care for several hours during the week or an entire weekend definitely puts us ahead of the curve in that category. As Christian men, we also bring stability and security to our own homes, both of which are not always present in the other household.

God blesses the families and lineages of those who love Him and follow His commandments. Here are a few verses that compliment this for you to look up on your own time:

Deut 7:9

Eph 6:1-4

Col 3:20-21

Prov 22:6

I also briefly touched on the National Center for Fathering’s initiative Championship Fathering, which builds a three-point foundation that we dads commit to loving, coaching, and being great role models for our kids. We also are to enlist other dads in this initiative and to encourage boys and girls who do not have a father present. Based on what may seem sometimes like a mountain of adversity against us or our children, we single fathers are by no means exempt from any of this! In fact, God still has His hand on us and those beneath us, as long as we are willing to stay submitted to His love and authority. The next couple weeks our group will discuss how we view ourselves as single fathers and how God sees us…both of which will lead us into staying submitted to His sovereignty.