Sphere of Influence

“He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived and let me watch him do it.”

-Clarence Kelland (In regards to his own father)

 

I recently sent out the following question via Facebook and text message:
What person(s) has been the greatest influence in your life…and why?

 

I received an even twenty responses, and they were all over the board.  Here are some of the findings:

Out of the 20 individuals that responded, 9 (45%) listed their father/parents as their number one most influential person(s) in their life.

Of those 9 people, all of them are Christians.

5 others that did not list their dad as #1 most influential are Christians anyways.

Other answers included: Wife, Mentors/Pastors, No one, and even Stalin & Sun Tzu.  Sadly, one young man recalled walking to the bar when he was 16 years old to ask his dad when he was coming home. 

 It should also be noted that out of those that responded, only a handful were under the age of 30 years old.  Although I am exceptionally pleased to see that such a high (I wish higher) percentage of the responses listed dad/parents as #1, I am also a bit wary that today’s generation of children, teens, and young adults are not as fortunate.  They are growing up in a completely different world than many of us did.  I recently stated, “Today’s youth have more pressure on them than ever before and parents are more disconnected from their kids than ever as well.”  All of this can add up to potential disaster if we as fathers (and parents in general) do not intervene.  So what can be done to help ensure our kids grow up living strong and balanced lives?  Here are a few helpful tips:

 

1.     If you don’t already, bring your children to church with you!  The Swiss did a study in 1994 and the results were staggering: In short, if mom only brings the children to church, only 1 in 50 will become a regular worshipper.  If dad goes to church regularly, despite mom’s devotion that number jumps to between two-thirds and three-quarters of the children will become (regular or irregular) churchgoers.  Even if dad goes to church irregularly, the number of children attending church as an adult still remains above 50%. 

 

2.     Get involved in their life.  I had a meeting with a lady not too long ago than runs an inner-city program for making sure a child’s primary educator is their parents.  Sure, school is essential for academic growth, but if we aren’t involved as well, our sons and daughters intellectual growth may be stunted.  She even told me that it makes a WORLD of difference just by asking something as simple as how was their day at school and talking about it.  Know who their friends are and where they are hanging out at.  Stay involved in extracurricular activities and by all means- monitor their cell phone and internet usage!  Safe and protective boundaries create a world of security they need.

 

3.     Spend time doing nothing.  Seriously, when is the last time you just “chilled” with your kids, no matter how old they are?  We live in such a crazy, fast-paced world that even our own relationships and responsibilities suffer sometimes.  Get “unplugged” for a bit.  In other words, go out and experience the great big wide world God has set out before us to explore!  Check out the park, zoo, and woods.  Build a snowman or tree fort.  If you elect to stay inside, draw, color, do arts and crafts, or even just sit and waste away an entire afternoon talking.  No matter what, use the time wisely, because moments and times like these quickly pass on by.  You can also look up my blog on November 26^th, 2011 entitled “Play Time Under Attack?”  Here is a quote from Andy Rooney that sums this thought up wonderfully: “I’ve learned…that simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.”

 

Remember, God has called us fathers to be our children's number one leaders in every aspect of life.  For those of you who may not have children or even be a single mother, that by no means disqualifies you.  God works through us and other people in amazing ways.  Some of the greatest leaders have come from some of the worse situations, and vice versa.  The important point to remember is that apart from Jesus we can do nothing, but through Him we can do all things!

 

Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace. –Psalm 144:12 (NIV)