How to Form Your Own Single Parenting Expo

“Before they are eighteen, about half of our Nation’s children will have lived part of their lives with a single parent who strives to fill both the role of mother and father…Now, therefore, I, Ronald Reagan, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim March 21, 1984 as National Single Parent Day. I call on the people of the United States to recognize the contributions single parents are making, sometimes under great hardships, to the lives of their children, and I ask that they volunteer their help, privately or through community organizations, to single parents who seek it to meet their aspirations for their children.” –Ronald Reagan, Proclamation 5166, March 21, 1984

Fact: This year alone, over half the babies born to women under the age of 30 will be to unwed mothers.

Fact: Single parent households now make up approximately 37% of all homes in America.

Fact: There are zero to very few single-day events directed specifically towards single parents; somewhere they can go to find the resources they need─ all in one place, at one time.

Until now!

This coming March, in Grand Rapids, MI, we will be hosting our 4^th annual Grand Rapids Single Parenting Expo. What began several years back as a good idea and a sort of experiment has now become our ministry’s central event and continues to grow each year. We have seen growth in both vendor participation and public attendance. Media exposure is growing and the word is getting out─ definitely a plus if we want to grow this event the way I envision it can. In fact, I don’t see why a few thousand single parents (or those working with single parents) couldn’t attend the SPE this year and that it could become a premier event in our area! Well, because single parent ministry is hard, and it’s not about us, that’s why.

Let me back this up for you. Back in 2012 we launched our first SPE, on March 17^th. I thought it would be a no-brainer for people to remember the Expo was on St. Patrick’s Day. And, I asked the Lord for good weather that day, so ice or snow wouldn’t deter anyone from coming out. Ask and you shall receive. It turned out to be a GORGEOUS 80-degree day that day (way out of character for Michigan in March!), and apparently people thought it would be more fun to go downtown on such a beautiful day and drink green beer instead of coming and getting the help they needed as single parents. Sigh, live and learn. Fast forward to March of 2014 and we had by far our best event ever. Yes, attendance was up on all levels, but that isn’t how I gauged the success of the day. What I saw were dozens of single parents and organizations mingling with each other; people helping people not out of obligation, but with compassion. We were blessed enough to have a food truck sponsored that day and fed over 130 people on the street, plus a free lunch inside. I even had one single mom come up and thank me and tell me how absolutely convenient it was for her to find everything she needed in one room as opposed to surfing the Web all day or making phone calls. Still, the highlight of my day was meeting Jessica (name changed). Jessica was a recent single mom who just left an extremely abusive marriage. She showed up before we had officially even begun the day and stayed almost the entire time, just visiting and talking with all of the vendors. But then the Gospel took over and our group of prayer partners were able to sit with Jessica and pray over her. Once the food truck showed up she asked me if she could help herself. “Absolutely”, I confirmed. When she came in with one full box of food I gave her another empty box and told her to go get round two. Jessica immediately put her hand over her mouth and began to tear up. “I’ve never been this loved before” she told me. It was definitely a tear-jerking moment for both of us, because I knew THIS is what the Expo is all about. Granted, it is not advertised as a “religious” event; but it doesn’t need to be to show others the love of Christ.

We have a God-given vision to take the SPE to the next level this year; as for the first time ever we will be adding a second day. The 2015 Grand Rapids Single Parenting Expo will be held on Saturday March 21 from 9am-3pm. However, the night before, on March 20 from 6:30-9pm, we are presenting an event “Remembering the Fatherless”, led by keynote speaker John Sowers. Dr. Sowers is the president of The Mentoring Project in Oklahoma City and is one of the leading voices in our nation in fighting the war against fatherlessness. He will be casting a vision and telling stories of how and why mentoring works. It will be a powerful message of hope, inspiration, and an example of how we ALL can make a difference in a fatherless child’s life through the gift of mentoring. We even hope to have several local mentoring programs present that evening where people can sign up on site to be a mentor. Jesus calls us to take care of the least of these; this is our niche in helping to fulfill our portion of the Great Commission.

Starting a Single Parenting Expo in your area

I pray the brief examples and stories I have shared with you have stirred you to at least begin to ponder what something like this may look like in your city. My prayer is that Single Parenting Expos will begin to pop up all over the nation and become a catalyst for serving one of the most vital, yet often overlooked portions of our society. Single parents are in many ways heroes, but no one is showing that to them. If in fact you are being led to form a SPE of your own, here are a few quick points to help you get it started.

1.      FREE admission for all guests. Single parents often don’t have a lot of money, if any at all. So don’t let this be a hindrance to having people attend your event.

 

2.      Have a variety of vendors: faith-based and non-faith-based; for profits (such as financial or legal services) and nonprofits; local organizations and national programs (Head Start, Divorce Care, The Life of a Single Mom, A Father’s Walk, etc…) Try to think of what single parents need and cover all demographics- from a teenage mom in the inner city to a divorced dad from the suburbs.

 

3.      Keep vendor costs to a minimum. I charge $25 per table for vendors. Since most of your participants will be nonprofits, it is best to keep the cost low for them.

 

4.      Serve a meal! Again, food is a big draw for anyone, but free food for a single parent family is a given. Something simple like hot dogs, coffee, cookies, and popcorn will be sufficient, unless you have a budget to do more.

 

5.      Kid’s area. Have something for the kids to do (face painting, gaga pit, coloring, etc…), just make sure to have all your bases covered with background checks, legalities, and so forth

 

6.      Keep your costs low. Any place that is willing to donate the space for free or minimal cost is a plus. Look for as many volunteers as you can to help with greeting, kid’s area, food, set up/tear down, prizes, and so on. I have found people love to help out with our event, especially if they get a hold of the vision you have to help single parents.

 

7.      Fundraising. If you are a registered 501©3 nonprofit, this will definitely make it easier to recruit donations, but not necessary. We did the first 3 years of our event without a tax-deductible status. (We’re official now, praise God)  Look for donations of prizes from local businesses and really cast the vision to them. And don’t be afraid to ask people for money. Give them a clear-cut picture of what your event will look like and why you are doing it and hopefully they will contribute financially. Plus, you do raise money from your vendor fees, so the more vendors you have equals more for your budget.

 

8.      Remember your purpose. Jessica’s story above is only one on the growing list of examples we are experiencing as the years roll by with our SPE. In a way this is discipleship. True discipleship isn’t as focused on numbers as much as it is on individuals. For example, an evangelist can come into any church and preach a message that brings the house down; one where hundreds of people come forward in response to an altar call. But after that he or she is on to their next gig and all of these new converts need someone to lead and shepherd them. Don’t let your event be a one and done altar call. Use it as a springboard to get single parents and their kids plugged into the programs they need to thrive. Keep an email list from registration to follow up with your attendees and keep them in the loop of other upcoming events or news. If done properly, your Single Parenting Expo can be the vessel so many families in your area have been looking for to find help and resources. You are also welcome to contact me at any time for more information on getting your Expo launched. All of my contact info is on our website.

The King will answer and say to them, “Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.” –Matthew 25:40 (NASB)

We All Have a Daddy Gap

Here is the link to a recent blog post I did for 1Corinthians13Parenting. Please check it out and definitely share it around!


http://www.1corinthians13parenting.com/daddy-gap/

25 Holiday Tips for Single Parents

From my good friend James Cruise at James Cruise Ministries:


http://www.jamescruise.com/#!holiday-tips/c1506

Saved versus Surrendered

Prior to my daughter’s birth, I lived quite a different life than I do now. I grew up in a single parent household. Despite a lot of affluence through things my parents gave to me, the lack of a full time father-figure and Christian foundation set the stage for the decisions I would make in the years to come. Beginning when I was 15 years old and lasting the next decade and a half, I engaged in a horrendous run of drug and alcohol addiction, sexual immorality, and self-destruction. During that time period I was arrested, overdosed twice, nearly killed in a car accident, and had a child out of wedlock.


Through the invitation of a coworker, I began to attend church early in 2001. Three weeks later, I responded to an altar call, prayed a prayer, and went home to tell everyone I had just gotten “saved”. But what did that mean? Surely I had just been introduced to the only saving grace I needed that could rescue me from my chaotic lifestyle and set me on a firm foundation─ but which way was I to go? The church never really followed up. No one ever scooped me up to mentor me. It was only a matter of time before I fell back into my old ways… The next six years that followed were really more like a roller coaster with God. I was good. I was bad. I had periods I pursued Him and stayed clean and sober; and there were times that I made some of my worst choices ever. I finally came to the end of myself after my daughter was born in 2006. Her mother and I were not on good terms and despite my upbringing, I knew I had been created to be better than what I had become. I wanted to be a great dad.


Early in 2007 a friend of mine invited me to attend his church, to which I accepted. As the pastor spoke my heart and began to burn with a passion and excitement like I had never experienced before. By the end of the service, I was making a beeline for the altar, and this time I knew what I was doing! As parents, our top priorities should be securing our own relationship with the Lord first, and then pouring into our families. For us single parents that may seem even more out of our grasp as we are constantly bogged down by juggling twice the responsibilities with half the help. It may be all we can do just to get the kids down for the night before we can get caught up with daily chores and then maybe even a little down time of our own. We may have really good intentions of spending time with God, but as it often goes, He usually gets pushed way to the back of a never-ceasing “to do” list. Before we know it, another week is in the books and outside of an hour or so at church, our walk with Him is all but nil. I often tell people that I may have gotten saved in 2001, but I fully surrendered to Jesus that morning in 2007. I was baptized a few months later and here I am today. Single parents, I know things may seem far from ideal right now, but look at the Cross. From the disciples’ point of view everything they had trusted and believed in, their whole world, had just died- literally. But the worst moment in history had to happen first so the greatest moment ever could take place.


Sometimes one thing has to die first so something greater can be born. If in fact you find yourself distant from a personal relationship with Jesus, today may be the day to begin that journey and lay it all down at His feet; because in God’s economy, surrender equals victory.


And they said to one another, “Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us on the road, and while He opened the Scriptures to us?" Luke 24:32 (NKJV)


When was the last time your heart was on fire for Christ?




*Originally published at http://www.1corinthians13parenting.com/ on November 24, 2014

The Daddy Gap is now live!

Upon hearing the news that his father has gone to jail, a 6 year old boy poses the question of this generation: "Who's going to take my dad's place?" The Daddy Gap takes an uncensored look at the distress today's single mothers and fatherless children face; plus the Church's role in it all.

You can order your copy here.

AFW Christmas Special!!!

Jesus tells us in Matthew 7 that every good tree bears good fruit. Over the past several years, A Father's Walk has been on the front lines when it comes to keeping single fathers involved in the lives of their children and to help turn generational curses into generational blessings.
We have been very influential in bringing 3 annual events to the West Michigan area: the Grand Rapids Single Parenting Expo, Father's Day at the Horse Ranch, and the Focus on Fathers conference. We have also published 2 books on single fatherhood and fatherless children (A Father's Walk: A Christian-Based Resource for Single Fathers and The Daddy Gap) and continue to lead the charge in helping churches across the nation to catch this vision.
Still, the harvest field is in greater need than ever and we have plenty of work to keep doing. Your (tax deductible) contribution of any size will allow us to continue our mission of "Helping a generation of children grow up WITH their fathers by serving and equipping all single dads in Jesus Christ." AND, from now through Christmas, every donation of $30 or more will receive a FREE copy of the AFW book- a great gift for any single father you may know!
You may donate directly online on our website: www.afatherswalk.org or mail a check to us at:
P.O. Box 9523
Wyoming, MI 49509
You gift today can and will make an impact for generations to come!

The Song

I had the opportunity to go see The Song the other day; and I can tell you that the movie definitely lived up to its hype! Based on the life of King Solomon, the film is a modern-day tale of a small town singer, his family, and his rise to fame─ and all the dangers that come along with money and power. The movie is intricately woven through Jeb King, the main character (and son of David King), and his narration which includes numerous passages of Scripture from both Ecclesiastes and the Song of Solomon.

Some will call this movie a great “date night” idea; some will say it is an excellent presentation of God’s Word through the silver screen. My answer to both is “yes”. For those of us who have a solid Biblical base, we are able to see how Jeb (Solomon) fell into the pits of temptation and how he realized it is all meaningless and fleeting when it comes to real love and what life is truly all about. It is a story of the forgiveness and redemption that we can bestow upon each other─ and ultimately of how God redeems us completely through His Son.

From a fathering perspective, I observed The Song as a great example of how so many men, husbands, and fathers have had their hearts led astray by fleshy lusts and empty desires from those who matter the most to them. James tells us, “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust is conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished (full grown), it brings forth death. –James 1:14-15 (NASB, emphasis added)

 In the opening chapter of our upcoming book The Daddy Gap, my coauthor Dawn Walker states, There are things that God intended a father to provide that a mother at her best simply cannot. She was not designed to. God distinctly designed a man to be the leader of his home, the protector and provider for his family. At his best, he is the one who speaks love and truth into his sons and daughters, who instills security, worth and identity and whose example gives them a model of a Father in heaven who is trustworthy, faithful and strong. Unfortunately, we have an enemy who knows that if he can take out the leader, he can weaken, cripple and scatter those in his wake. The Bible says he prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8). Sadly, he often succeeds, and when he does there are casualties. Today, record numbers of fathers have fallen prey to drug and alcohol addiction, violence, pornography, adultery, and other seemingly harmless lures that end in death; the death of a marriage, a family, and sometimes even the man himself. When this happens, instead of the example above, the father’s legacy can be devastating to generations of sons and daughters who feel abandoned, unprotected, unworthy. The saddest part of all is that they also get presented with a distorted picture of a God who is weak, unloving and not to be trusted.

I once heard former Korn guitarist Brian Welsh talk about the band’s literal and spiritual demise, the same time they were climbing the Billboard charts: “We were losing everything while we were gaining the world.” Every single one of the band member’s marriages ended in divorce, and addictions of all sorts consumed their lives and souls during this time period. It is only by God’s grace and mercy that Brian was able to find his way out of that lifestyle and into his own salvation through Jesus.

Men, where are you at with all of this today? Are you setting safety barriers in place so that the same fate that befell King David’s son does not fall upon your household? Do you have a heart that is completely and totally sold out for Christ no matter what, or are there other idols that are creeping in and beginning to suck His love out of you? Let me assure you that NONE of us are immune or exempt from the work of the devil when it comes to leading and guiding our families. It is only through our continued trust and dependence on Christ that we are able to withstand and ward off the spiritual assault of this world; and to raise a new generation of believers for God’s Kingdom─ beginning with our own children.

But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. –Eph 2:4-7 (NKJV)