For who is God, except the Lord? And
who is a rock, except our God? It is God who arms me with strength, and makes
my ways perfect. –Psalm
18:31-32 (NKJV)
Well, it’s that time of year again:
time for lights and bells, family and food, presents with our kids…or maybe
not. Perhaps this is a time of year we as single parents may not be too fond
of- especially if we are away from our children over the holidays. Co-parenting,
split custody, and a variety of other factors may be inhibiting your chance to
have a traditional Christmas morning with your kids; and it may be even more
painful if this is your first year as a single parent. Coming from someone who
has endured many a heartaches over the years as a single dad during the
holidays, I sympathize with you. However, I also want to give you encouragement
that this is not the end all, be all. Here are a few quick tips you can use to
not only build yourself up, but also provide your children with a great
Christmas- even if you’re not there.
1. Prepare your heart
Before we do anything, let’s make sure our hearts are in the right place.
Ask the Lord to remove any feelings of anger, guilt, or bitterness that may
distract you from letting His love flow through this transition. David said it
best in Psalm 57:7: “My heart is
steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and give praise.” Be
mindful to keep a soft heart during this season- one that is full of worship
and praise for God.
2. Connect with your kids
This may or not be an option for you. If it is, go ahead and make that
phone call, send them a text, Skype, or any other means to talk with them. Use
the time wisely to build them up with love and affirmation and wish them a very
Merry Christmas. Don’t dwell on the negatives (even if you have to bite your
tongue) and make sure whatever you say to them leaves them for the better that
day (Eph 4:29).
3. Laugh!
The Bible tells us that “a merry
heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.” (Prov
17:22) Going back to the previous point,
if you get the chance to talk with your son or daughter, make it a time of joy
and laughter. This will leave everyone involved with a joyful and healing heart
after the conversation is done. On the flip side, if you aren’t able to talk
with them, a great alternative would be to reflect back on memories past with
your kids, ones that bring you joy. You may even want share stories with others
and tell them how much they make you happy.
4. It’s just a day
We have no historical or Biblical records that suggest Jesus was actually
born on December 25th. Instead, we need to focus on the bigger
picture: bringing our children up in Christ and preparing them for the world
ahead. Yes, there is something special about Christmas morning; but let’s look
at it this way: Which do you think would be more important- having your kids
every year on Christmas Day and never instilling God’s Word into them…or using
the time you DO have to love them and teach them His statues? Remember, we’re
fighting for eternity here. And besides, kids really don’t care what the day
is- as long as they get presents.
5. The greatest gift of all
Our human side tends to want to dominate our spirit constantly (Gal 5:17).
It may sound cliché, but Jesus IS the reason we celebrate! A life lived apart
from Him and the peace, promise, and joy He brings really isn’t much of a life
at all. If you have already made the decision to follow Him as your Lord and
Savior, then the rest is just added blessings. If you have not, today is a
perfect day to hit your knees, confess your sins, and ask Jesus Christ to be
the Lord of your life. God has given us the greatest gift of all in His Son.
You may be apart from your son or daughter this year, but the Lord is not and
your Father is longing to spend Christmas Day with you!
...I bring you good tidings of great
joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city
of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. –Luke 2:10-11
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