From my good friend James Cruise at James Cruise Ministries:
http://www.jamescruise.com/#!holiday-tips/c1506
Monday, December 8, 2014
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Saved versus Surrendered
Prior to my daughter’s birth, I lived quite a different life than I do now. I grew up in a single parent household. Despite a lot of affluence through things my parents gave to me, the lack of a full time father-figure and Christian foundation set the stage for the decisions I would make in the years to come. Beginning when I was 15 years old and lasting the next decade and a half, I engaged in a horrendous run of drug and alcohol addiction, sexual immorality, and self-destruction. During that time period I was arrested, overdosed twice, nearly killed in a car accident, and had a child out of wedlock.
Through the invitation of a coworker, I began to attend church early in 2001. Three weeks later, I responded to an altar call, prayed a prayer, and went home to tell everyone I had just gotten “saved”. But what did that mean? Surely I had just been introduced to the only saving grace I needed that could rescue me from my chaotic lifestyle and set me on a firm foundation─ but which way was I to go? The church never really followed up. No one ever scooped me up to mentor me. It was only a matter of time before I fell back into my old ways… The next six years that followed were really more like a roller coaster with God. I was good. I was bad. I had periods I pursued Him and stayed clean and sober; and there were times that I made some of my worst choices ever. I finally came to the end of myself after my daughter was born in 2006. Her mother and I were not on good terms and despite my upbringing, I knew I had been created to be better than what I had become. I wanted to be a great dad.
Early in 2007 a friend of mine invited me to attend his church, to which I accepted. As the pastor spoke my heart and began to burn with a passion and excitement like I had never experienced before. By the end of the service, I was making a beeline for the altar, and this time I knew what I was doing! As parents, our top priorities should be securing our own relationship with the Lord first, and then pouring into our families. For us single parents that may seem even more out of our grasp as we are constantly bogged down by juggling twice the responsibilities with half the help. It may be all we can do just to get the kids down for the night before we can get caught up with daily chores and then maybe even a little down time of our own. We may have really good intentions of spending time with God, but as it often goes, He usually gets pushed way to the back of a never-ceasing “to do” list. Before we know it, another week is in the books and outside of an hour or so at church, our walk with Him is all but nil. I often tell people that I may have gotten saved in 2001, but I fully surrendered to Jesus that morning in 2007. I was baptized a few months later and here I am today. Single parents, I know things may seem far from ideal right now, but look at the Cross. From the disciples’ point of view everything they had trusted and believed in, their whole world, had just died- literally. But the worst moment in history had to happen first so the greatest moment ever could take place.
Sometimes one thing has to die first so something greater can be born. If in fact you find yourself distant from a personal relationship with Jesus, today may be the day to begin that journey and lay it all down at His feet; because in God’s economy, surrender equals victory.
And they said to one another, “Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us on the road, and while He opened the Scriptures to us?" Luke 24:32 (NKJV)
When was the last time your heart was on fire for Christ?
*Originally published at http://www.1corinthians13parenting.com/ on November 24, 2014
Through the invitation of a coworker, I began to attend church early in 2001. Three weeks later, I responded to an altar call, prayed a prayer, and went home to tell everyone I had just gotten “saved”. But what did that mean? Surely I had just been introduced to the only saving grace I needed that could rescue me from my chaotic lifestyle and set me on a firm foundation─ but which way was I to go? The church never really followed up. No one ever scooped me up to mentor me. It was only a matter of time before I fell back into my old ways… The next six years that followed were really more like a roller coaster with God. I was good. I was bad. I had periods I pursued Him and stayed clean and sober; and there were times that I made some of my worst choices ever. I finally came to the end of myself after my daughter was born in 2006. Her mother and I were not on good terms and despite my upbringing, I knew I had been created to be better than what I had become. I wanted to be a great dad.
Early in 2007 a friend of mine invited me to attend his church, to which I accepted. As the pastor spoke my heart and began to burn with a passion and excitement like I had never experienced before. By the end of the service, I was making a beeline for the altar, and this time I knew what I was doing! As parents, our top priorities should be securing our own relationship with the Lord first, and then pouring into our families. For us single parents that may seem even more out of our grasp as we are constantly bogged down by juggling twice the responsibilities with half the help. It may be all we can do just to get the kids down for the night before we can get caught up with daily chores and then maybe even a little down time of our own. We may have really good intentions of spending time with God, but as it often goes, He usually gets pushed way to the back of a never-ceasing “to do” list. Before we know it, another week is in the books and outside of an hour or so at church, our walk with Him is all but nil. I often tell people that I may have gotten saved in 2001, but I fully surrendered to Jesus that morning in 2007. I was baptized a few months later and here I am today. Single parents, I know things may seem far from ideal right now, but look at the Cross. From the disciples’ point of view everything they had trusted and believed in, their whole world, had just died- literally. But the worst moment in history had to happen first so the greatest moment ever could take place.
Sometimes one thing has to die first so something greater can be born. If in fact you find yourself distant from a personal relationship with Jesus, today may be the day to begin that journey and lay it all down at His feet; because in God’s economy, surrender equals victory.
And they said to one another, “Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us on the road, and while He opened the Scriptures to us?" Luke 24:32 (NKJV)
When was the last time your heart was on fire for Christ?
*Originally published at http://www.1corinthians13parenting.com/ on November 24, 2014
Thursday, November 13, 2014
The Daddy Gap is now live!
Upon hearing the news that his father has gone to jail, a 6 year old boy poses the question of this generation: "Who's going to take my dad's place?" The Daddy Gap takes an uncensored look at the distress today's single mothers and fatherless children face; plus the Church's role in it all.
You can order your copy here.
You can order your copy here.
Monday, October 20, 2014
AFW Christmas Special!!!
Jesus tells us in Matthew 7 that every good tree bears good fruit. Over the past several years, A Father's Walk has been on the front lines when it comes to keeping single fathers involved in the lives of their children and to help turn generational curses into generational blessings.
We have been very influential in bringing 3 annual events to the West Michigan area: the Grand Rapids Single Parenting Expo, Father's Day at the Horse Ranch, and the Focus on Fathers conference. We have also published 2 books on single fatherhood and fatherless children (A Father's Walk: A Christian-Based Resource for Single Fathers and The Daddy Gap) and continue to lead the charge in helping churches across the nation to catch this vision.
Still, the harvest field is in greater need than ever and we have plenty of work to keep doing. Your (tax deductible) contribution of any size will allow us to continue our mission of "Helping a generation of children grow up WITH their fathers by serving and equipping all single dads in Jesus Christ." AND, from now through Christmas, every donation of $30 or more will receive a FREE copy of the AFW book- a great gift for any single father you may know!
You may donate directly online on our website: www.afatherswalk.org or mail a check to us at:
P.O. Box 9523
Wyoming, MI 49509
You gift today can and will make an impact for generations to come!
We have been very influential in bringing 3 annual events to the West Michigan area: the Grand Rapids Single Parenting Expo, Father's Day at the Horse Ranch, and the Focus on Fathers conference. We have also published 2 books on single fatherhood and fatherless children (A Father's Walk: A Christian-Based Resource for Single Fathers and The Daddy Gap) and continue to lead the charge in helping churches across the nation to catch this vision.
Still, the harvest field is in greater need than ever and we have plenty of work to keep doing. Your (tax deductible) contribution of any size will allow us to continue our mission of "Helping a generation of children grow up WITH their fathers by serving and equipping all single dads in Jesus Christ." AND, from now through Christmas, every donation of $30 or more will receive a FREE copy of the AFW book- a great gift for any single father you may know!
You may donate directly online on our website: www.afatherswalk.org or mail a check to us at:
P.O. Box 9523
Wyoming, MI 49509
You gift today can and will make an impact for generations to come!
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
The Song
I had the
opportunity to go see The Song the
other day; and I can tell you that the movie definitely lived up to its hype!
Based on the life of King Solomon, the film is a modern-day tale of a small
town singer, his family, and his rise to fame─ and all the dangers that come
along with money and power. The movie is intricately woven through Jeb King,
the main character (and son of David King), and his narration which includes
numerous passages of Scripture from both Ecclesiastes and the Song of Solomon.
Some will
call this movie a great “date night” idea; some will say it is an excellent
presentation of God’s Word through the silver screen. My answer to both is
“yes”. For those of us who have a solid Biblical base, we are able to see how
Jeb (Solomon) fell into the pits of temptation and how he realized it is all
meaningless and fleeting when it comes to real love and what life is truly all
about. It is a story of the forgiveness and redemption that we can bestow upon
each other─ and ultimately of how God redeems us completely through His Son. From a fathering perspective, I observed The Song as a great example of how so many men, husbands, and fathers have had their hearts led astray by fleshy lusts and empty desires from those who matter the most to them. James tells us, “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust is conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished (full grown), it brings forth death. –James 1:14-15 (NASB, emphasis added)
In the opening chapter of our upcoming book The Daddy Gap, my coauthor Dawn Walker states, There are things that God intended a father to provide that a mother at her best simply cannot. She was not designed to. God distinctly designed a man to be the leader of his home, the protector and provider for his family. At his best, he is the one who speaks love and truth into his sons and daughters, who instills security, worth and identity and whose example gives them a model of a Father in heaven who is trustworthy, faithful and strong. Unfortunately, we have an enemy who knows that if he can take out the leader, he can weaken, cripple and scatter those in his wake. The Bible says he prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8). Sadly, he often succeeds, and when he does there are casualties. Today, record numbers of fathers have fallen prey to drug and alcohol addiction, violence, pornography, adultery, and other seemingly harmless lures that end in death; the death of a marriage, a family, and sometimes even the man himself. When this happens, instead of the example above, the father’s legacy can be devastating to generations of sons and daughters who feel abandoned, unprotected, unworthy. The saddest part of all is that they also get presented with a distorted picture of a God who is weak, unloving and not to be trusted.
I once heard former Korn guitarist Brian Welsh talk about the band’s literal and spiritual demise, the same time they were climbing the Billboard charts: “We were losing everything while we were gaining the world.” Every single one of the band member’s marriages ended in divorce, and addictions of all sorts consumed their lives and souls during this time period. It is only by God’s grace and mercy that Brian was able to find his way out of that lifestyle and into his own salvation through Jesus.
Men, where are you at with all of this today? Are you setting safety barriers in place so that the same fate that befell King David’s son does not fall upon your household? Do you have a heart that is completely and totally sold out for Christ no matter what, or are there other idols that are creeping in and beginning to suck His love out of you? Let me assure you that NONE of us are immune or exempt from the work of the devil when it comes to leading and guiding our families. It is only through our continued trust and dependence on Christ that we are able to withstand and ward off the spiritual assault of this world; and to raise a new generation of believers for God’s Kingdom─ beginning with our own children.
But God, who is rich in mercy, because
of His great love with which He loved us, even
when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace
you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of
His grace in His kindness
toward us in Christ Jesus. –Eph 2:4-7 (NKJV)
Saturday, September 20, 2014
Random Thoughts for Today
My mind has
been going all week with everything I currently have on my plate: some things
require my immediate attention, others are months down the road; but yet, I am
still on the inside. God has really been talking to me this week, revealing
Himself through others, His Word and a book I am reading. I have been getting
some good one on one time with my daughter lately, but sometimes I feel as if
we aren’t “clicking” like we used to. She’s growing up fast and I know that.
Days and times I could usually bank on for spending time with her are slowly being
replaced with sports, dance, and friends. I’m not alarmed though, because we
have an amazing relationship and I know all is not lost.
This morning
was bittersweet. I attended one of here cheerleading games and my heart was
pounding with Daddy pride as I watched her cheer away; but also filled with
heartache as her mom, stepdad, and the rest of their family sat on the other
side of the bleachers. My daughter definitely paid more attention to them being
there, but did come over to my side of the railing a couple times to talk with
me and steal my water bottle. Even though we did not converse much, I knew my
being there mattered. I kept playing in my head the fact that one day she may
sit back as an adult and realize, You
know, my dad was always at my games. In fact, he was always at almost
everything I participated in. She may realize this when I’m still alive and
thank me for it; she may realize it after I’m long gone; or it may never occur
to her at all. Doesn’t matter, because I am doing what I am supposed to do: being
a dad.
As grateful
as I am to God for all He has blessed me with, my heart still breaks for the
dads out there who don’t get to experience these sorts of days as often as they
should. Even more so, the Lord has put a flame in my heart that keeps growing for fatherless youth -
and I keep pondering, What am I going to
do about it? I also fast forward to the possibility that I may one day be
able to have a full family of my own. My daughter will always be my firstborn,
but I have completely entrusted her to God and realize that I am not the one
who is ultimately in control of her life- He is. If in fact I DO get married
and have more children, then I am in a covenant with God to love, lead, and
steward them all to the best of my ability.
So yeah, I do
have a lot going on─ and it shows no intent of slowing down. But I (we) MUST
slow down; because if we allow the hype or drama of life to control our course,
then we may fall off the path that has been so graciously laid out for us.
A man’s heart plans his way, but the
Lord directs his steps. –Proverbs 16:9 (NKJV)
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Standing in the Gap: The Value of Mentoring
In his book Good to Great in God’s Eyes, author and pastor Chip Ingram states one of my all-time favorite quotes: “A master’s ceiling can become his disciple’s floor if the disciple knows how to absorb the lessons of the master’s life.” In my own experience, I have witnessed countless times the importance, significance, and eternal impact that mentoring creates. I truly believe every one of us should have a mentor and/or an accountability partner because God blesses us with other godly individuals in our walks with Him to help keep us on the straight and narrow.
However, there are literally MILLIONS of children going to bed tonight (many right in our own neighborhoods) who do not have that affirmation and protection they so desperately need to make it in today’s society.
Obviously mentoring begins at home with our own kids, but I can almost assure you there is a child in need of a little (or a lot!) of guidance within your sphere of influence. Please understand I am not challenging everyone reading this to jump into a full-time mentoring role, but even small amounts of encouragement and generosity can go a long way in a child’s life.
If, in fact, you do find yourself being led to mentor a youth, here are a few quick points to get you going:
1. Be Consistent
Almost without a doubt, a troubled youth has had more than one parent, parental figure, or friend bail in the child’s life. If you do decide to become a mentor, establishing a set day, time, and duration will bring a welcome change of consistency in his or her life.
2. Be Authentic
Despite what the child’s outside life may look like to us, there may be underlying issues such as being lied to, abused (in any form), or manipulated. We are ALL damaged individuals, the difference being as Christian adults we are now capable of trusting and turning it over to Christ. This may or may not be an option for your mentee, so keep that in mind.
3. Be Faithful
There is so much to be said for Christians who actually live their faith out transparently on a daily basis. Stay true to that while mentoring too. Show the love of Jesus through your words or actions and allow the Holy Spirit to direct the relationship. When we do, lives are impacted and generations are changed for God’s glory.
And the King will answer and say to them,
“Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren,
you did it to Me.”
Matt 25:40 (NKJV)
“Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren,
you did it to Me.”
Matt 25:40 (NKJV)
Moms and dads, who is the Lord leading you today to begin investing in as a mentor?
*Origianlly posted at www.1Corinthians13Parenting.com on August 22, 2014
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