God in the Gap

Our final guest blogger for this month is my friend Regi Campbell of Radical Mentoring. Mentoring is Biblical, and extremely vital for us to grow as men and as fathers. I pray you take Regi's words to heart; and if you don't have a mentor currently, that you will begin to seek one out soon.


I first became a dad at the age of 23. I was an idiot. Oh, I was married, thought I was a Christian, even helped with the diapers and midnight feedings. But emotionally . . . spiritually . . . I was about as ready to be a dad as a Subaru’s ready to race at Indy.

Ten years later, Jesus found me and I started to grow up. I had found career success but I had lost my wife’s heart and had to win it back. I’m not sure I ever had my kids’ hearts as I never invested enough for long enough to register on their ‘Richter scales.’ But with Jesus living in me, I was now fully alive and in the game! My marriage came back together, my kids and I connected, they each accepted Jesus and were baptized and have pretty much walked with God ever since.

When I poke around about those early years, my kids can’t remember anything bad I did or didn’t do. It’s like God supernaturally filled the ‘father-gap’ while I was ‘missing-in-action.’ I can’t explain it. There’s no rationale short of a supernatural phenomenon. All I know is they feel like they were ‘fathered’ when I was miles away. They never felt alone or abandoned or neglected. They don’t remember the smell of alcohol on my breath or all the nights their mom put them to bed without me. I failed to fulfill my God-given role during those years, yet God filled the gap.

What if God fills the ‘mother-gap’ in your family? I know . . . some of your kids’ moms are around, but so was I back in those days. As I said, I can’t explain it. Don’t know if there’s any way to make it happen other than to ask God in prayer. No way to take a status check along the way. Like most things of God, we experience life prospectively but see God’s hand retrospectively. That’s how I came to see this in my life and family . . . looking back, trying to understand how God did what He did for me while I was (finally) growing up.

I know you want an awesome life for your kids. You wouldn’t be reading this blog if you didn’t. You’re ‘all-in’ as a single dad. You’re giving it all you got and that’s what you should do. Must do. But know there’s an Invisible Hand capable of filling every gap in your family. Walk with Him. Thank Him. Trust Him. Don’t be surprised when you and your kids look back someday and find that your Heavenly Father was filling the gap . . . making complete something you felt wasn’t.

Regi Campbell is the founder of Radical Mentoring, a movement of men and churches who are about mentoring younger leaders in small groups. He has written three books About My Father’s Business – Taking Your Faith to Work , Mentor like Jesus , and What Radical Husbands Do . You can subscribe to his twice-weekly blog posts by clicking here. Regi lives near Atlanta, Georgia with his wife Miriam. They’ve been married for 46 years and 2 adult married kids and 5 grandkids later, they still love each other.