Today's men seem lost
between the world's stereotypes and what Scripture reveals as godly
characteristics.
Our present day
culture says, "Suck it up, play through the pain, never let me see you
cry, hide your true feelings, emotions are for wimps, vulnerability will only
hurt you, and good guys finish last." Even the current clothing fashions
attempt to emasculate men by promoting more effeminate, soft, and weak styles.
Yet Scripture provides a much different, counter-cultural, and more courageous
perspective for men to follow.
Two primary
Scriptural examples come to mind: the behaviors and characteristics Jesus
demonstrated and the instructions given to men as husbands.
In looking at the
life of Jesus, we find a perfect example of masculinity. Being an emotionally
whole and healthy man, He exhibited a wide range of emotions. He cried, was
impatient, and got angry. He was bold, yet compassionate, humble, and
forgiving. He bonded with a group of men, yet still took time to be alone –
usually with God in prayer.
Jesus met people at
their individual points of need and was comfortable interacting with people
from all stages and statures of life. He had an unusual magnetism that prompted
children to want to be around Him. He said what He meant and meant what He
said. He loved fully, exuded confidence in the face of adversity, and remained
calm when all others were going crazy. He challenged leaders when they were
wrong, even though it placed Him in danger. He knew who He was and fulfilled
His purpose with determination. He was a leader who stood for what was right
without compromising His moral standards – disregarding public appeal and
personal gain.
In essence, Jesus was
all man.
Shifting our
attention to the instruction given to men as husbands, one verse in particular
stands out as encouragement against today’s societal trends. Colossians 3:19 says a
husband is to love his wife and “not be harsh”with her (NIV). Dictionaries
define the word harsh as to be cruel, offensive to the mind or feelings,
or oppressive. The King James Version of the Bible translates the word harsh
as bitter. The overall meaning is that a husband must not be
insensitive, inconsiderate, or unkind to his wife.
A man’s harsh
language or disrespectful behavior toward his wife is unacceptable. This
includes playing cruel mind games, showing disrespect, being mean and
insensitive, giving her the silent treatment, and all forms of domestic
violence and abuse.
Words, actions, or
attitudes that demonstrate bitterness include resentment, cynicism, anger,
meanness, being unpleasant, and name-calling.
Most of the words
that describe bitterness mirror the world’s mindset of a “macho man.” Someone
who acts rough and tough, is untouchable, insensitive, emotionally detached,
and invulnerable. However, the scriptural view of how a man shares
compassionate and unselfish love with his wife paints a much different picture
than what the world portrays.
An antonym for
bitterness is sweetness. Sweetness can be described by such words as
lovable, charming, appealing, adorable, thoughtful, considerate, pleasant,
gentle, softhearted, agreeable, and harmonious.
Now, don’t get me
wrong. I’m not advocating that men become cry-babies who sit around talking
about their feelings and singing Kum-Bah-Yah. There is a big difference between
a wimpy pushover and a courageous, affectionate, emotionally healthy man.
Insecure cowards hide behind mean, disrespectful, and superficial behavior. But
it takes a real man, mature in spirit, mind, soul, and body, to be the godly
man portrayed in Scripture.
So men, as the saying
goes, “Man up!” Drop the tough-guy act and prepare yourself to courageously
live a life of compassion, gentleness, and loving affection. Develop and
exhibit respectful, sensitive, and honorable behavior in all your interactions.
If Jesus demonstrated the emotion, it’s okay for you to do the same.
The world is
desperately looking for healthy, vibrant, godly men of integrity. Will you be
one?
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