Facebook and Fathering

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. –Col 3:20 (NIV)

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. –Eph 6:4 (NASB)

I was recently posed with the question as to whether or not it was right for us to allow our children to have a social media account, such as Facebook. While there are multiple cases I could make for each side, as always, we need to turn to the Lord for answers.

I have read several articles (such as this one: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/22/facebook-study-envy_n_2526549.html) on the correlation between people being on Facebook and experiencing feelings of depression or less self-worth afterwards. In short, we compare ourselves and our lives to what we see online and act out accordingly.

As fathers, one of our number one responsibilities is to instill a strong self-worth and confidence in our children, and to point out the lies and flaws with anything that may inhibit those qualities in them. This is accomplished through our knowledge and passing on of Scripture to our kids and spending quality time with them so they don’t go looking to fill that gap somewhere else. We are also to set firm and realistic boundaries for their protection. If you love and discipline your kids in the same way God does us, then you will have their respect when it comes to topics such as social media usage. If you do not, then you still have the right to petition the Lord on their behalf.

I am not going to make a judgment call for your household. We all understand the risks and dangers that lurk in cyber-world; but I believe an even greater danger is our sons and daughters not having a father who is active in bringing them up in Christ. Seek His guidance today through the Word and prayer and ask Him to lead you when it comes to leading them.

A Life With or Without Christ

But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. –James 1:14-15 (NKJV)

A guy I have known for multiple years passed away this week- the result of suicide. At one point I was very good friends with him, his ex-wife, and their now 16 and 20 year old girls. Although it’s been a while since he and I have spoken, my mind has been wandering as to what brought about this tragedy and why he saw no way out. Here’s some insight:

I knew this man and his ex while they were still married and the girls were young. I watched as the marriage unfolded- a good portion of it to his drinking, violence, and adultery. I am wondering, as the verse above states, if he had become so entangled in sin that it led to his final decision. I recently learned at the visitation that he had made a decision for Christ and was baptized, but sin knows no boundaries and has no mercy. Jesus tells us in John 10:10 that our enemy’s number one goal is to steal, kill, and destroy. “Sin…brings forth death.” (James 1:15)

I am also troubled with another thought: If I had perhaps shared the Gospel with him in years prior, could all of this been avoided? Of course I don’t blame myself for what happened, but as I read Jesus’ parable of the rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31) today, I was given a very clear picture of just how vital it is for every breathing human being to hear the Good News of Jesus Christ and that it is too late once we leave this world for the next.

With that being said, I encourage all of us to examine ourselves and ask the Lord to bring to the surface anything that is hindering us from witnessing to others (Psalm 26:2). I will continue to pray for this man’s family and their healing, but also for God to keep this fresh in my mind too so I don’t miss another opportunity to save a life- for eternity.

It is for freedom that Christ set us free… -Gal 5:1 (NASB)

Recent Articles From AFW

For some efficiency, here are the links to a couple recent articles from AFW. The first deals with Parental Alienation. The latter is a Father's Day post from a local radio station. Enjoy:

http://www.crosswalk.com/family/parenting/single-parents/the-long-haul.html?ps=0

http://www.woodradio.com/articles/wood-news-125494/a-fathers-walk-provides-faith-based-11395244/

Upcoming News for Our Fatherly Advice

Hey everyone,

Couple quick things:

1. I am looking to reach out a bit more with our posts and will be sending out "Single Dad (or parent) Tips" regularly via blog post and Facebook. I am looking for some responses at to what you all would like to see in regards to tips, ideas, and things down that line. Leave a comment here on the blog or email me at: matt@afatherswalk.org.

2. August is Guest Blogger Month again! We have a couple returning guests from last year and some new faces too. Stay tuned for some great posts from some godly men and women!

Father's Day 2013

In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1Thess 5:18 (NKJV)

I have a lot to be thankful for this year as a father. As I reflect back on years past and see how God has moved in both mine and my daughter’s life, I cannot help but to give Him the praise. What made this year so special was being able to witness His faithfulness come to fruition first hand. Naturally, the highlight was having my daughter for the entire day and being able to bring her to church so we could worship the Lord. Any time I get to pour Christ into her is a blessing, but it seems to be magnified on Father’s Day.

The big surprise, though, was the end of the day. I had attended a men’s conference at church the day before on the leading and teaching of the Holy Spirit. My Achilles heel in my walk has always been my personal relationship with my own dad. It is no secret that I have father issues, but my tendency is to sweep it under the rug and move on to something else. Not this time. God used the conference to really dig deep into my spirit and gave me specific instructions to have a one on one talk with my dad- the next day! I couldn’t shake the obvious and in obedience, I sought out prayer for strength from my friends all weekend long.

As the day came to a close and I dropped my daughter off, I knew the time was at hand to have “the talk” with my dad. Although he is a regular church attendee, I knew he had to hear the Gospel. I also had a lot of unresolved personal conflict that I needed to address with him.  In short, the conversation went exceptionally smooth and to my surprise- I wasn’t nervous at all once we got started. We talked for over an hour and at the end I got to pray over my dad, I hugged him, and for the first time in years- told him I loved him. I know this made a great impression on him, but I think the biggest change came from within me. I had faced, and slayed, the last true giant I had in my life (2Tim 1:7).

 Thank You, Lord, for Your faithfulness and love. Thank You for my amazing daughter and the ability to bring her up in Christ. Thank You, Father, for Your Holy Spirit and Truth that allows us to become more like Your Son every single day.

Father's Day: Single Dad Style

“For no other foundation can anyone lay than that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.”-1Cor 3:11 (NKJV)

 I can still remember my first Father’s Day. My daughter was a little more than a month old. It was the first time I ever saw her smile, and her mom and I were on our way to church to have her dedicated to the Lord. The service went great and there were lots of amenities to spoil us dads along the way. But somewhere between leaving church and hitting the driveway at her mom’s house things went south between her mother and I. Although I do not remember what exactly started the argument, all I remember is my daughter being carried off by her mom back into the house- balling her brains out as they disappeared from my sight. Not exactly the way I wanted my first Father’s Day to end.

I remember leaving there so upset and confused, burning with anger towards her mom as I drove off. “She’s ruined my first Father’s Day,” I said to myself, “I will never be able to get this back!”All I wanted was to be a dad and be able to pour into my daughter more than I had ever received from my own parents. Now that moment was stolen from me. Obviously, my daughter’s mother and I were not on the best of terms. We were never married and it was a very intense situation. Even though we had just left church, I was not a true believer in Jesus Christ at this point in my life. I did not yet have the foundation or wisdom I would need along the way to not only endue future trials, but to be a great dad and give my daughter my absolute best. Praise God that His plan had been written long before this ever happened, as I came to know Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior later on that winter. This coming Father’s Day will be seven years since the events above occurred. Although I still experience many of the same trials that single parents face on a regular basis, I now have that foundation of Rock to stand on and enjoy not only this holiday with my daughter, but every single moment we get to be together. Dads, no matter what type of circumstance you are facing this weekend, I am here to give you hope and encouragement of just how important and impacting you already are as Christian men in your children’s lives. You may have full or partial custody of your kids; or perhaps this is your first Father’s Day as a single father, due to a divorce or as a widower. You possibly have the entire weekend to spend with your son or daughter, or maybe you will not be able to see them at all for whatever reason. Regardless of your situation this coming Sunday (or any other day for that matter), you have several opportunities to fulfill your role as a godly father.

Pray for your children

The Bible is very clear as to a father’s authority over his children. We are their spiritual leaders (1Thess 2:11-12) and they will model what they see and learn from us (Prov 13:1, 23:24, Eph 6:4). Use every opportunity you have to pray with and for your kids. Be authentic and transparent, allowing them to see the gospel being lived out in your life.

Cherish these times

Maria Edgeworth once said, If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.” Time is an incredible gift from God- one we often take for granted on a regular basis. Dads, we only get one shot to pour into our children in this life, don’t waste it. Yes, we may screw up majorly along the way, but always remember, it is not how you start out in life- but how you finish. Father’s Day is a wonderful reminder we get every year of just how special we are to our children.

Create a legacy built on Christ

Our faithfulness to the Lord now will continue on through the generations after we are gone (Deut 7:9). Take a self examination of where you truly stand in your relationship with Jesus by applying your life to God’s Word. If need be, make the necessary changes to align your heart with His and then model the same to your kids. It’s never too late to begin.

 

So what does all of this really have to do with Father’s Day? Simple: Yes, this is “our day” to relax, grill, golf, and to celebrate being a dad. However, it ultimately comes down to our significance and importance as a father and leading our kids in Christ. We don’t get a day off from this, and single dads are by no means exempt from God’s calling. Enjoy this weekend with your kids, dad. Just remember to keep our Father in the center and give Him the glory in your own life for the amazing gift of fatherhood!

The Importance of Mentoring

If you have some time, here is a video of me sharing a bit of my testimony and speaking on the topic of the importance of mentoring:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdTGSAv1suE&feature=youtu.be