Rejection and the Resurrection

“The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone.”  -1Pet 2:7 (NKJV)

No one knew rejection and heartache like Jesus. Think of it: the King of the universe was betrayed and eventually killed by the very ones He created and loved. Even His closest friends here on earth didn’t always understand Him, and I’m sure that He felt very alone at times. Naturally, Jesus was always in constant communication with God. He sought comfort, guidance, and safety within the presence of His Father. Yet, He still had a job to do while He was alive, and that was to die so that the world may be saved through Him (John 3:17). In order for God’s perfect plan to be accomplished and to make it possible for there to be a resurrection and victory- death must come first. The same is true for our own lives. Many of us have experienced rejection in one form or another- more than likely the failure of a relationship if we are single parents.  In order for us to live out a “resurrection” of our lives and spirit and gain the victory that only comes through Christ, we should first look at what He faced.

If we study the crucifixion in the gospels, we find that Jesus was in fact rejected by many people in a variety of ways. He was rejected by two friends- Judas and Peter (Luke 22:21-23, 47-48, 54-62). He was rejected by one of the thieves next to Him on the cross (Luke 23:39); and the world (Luke 23:27-38).  He even seemed to have been rejected by God (Mark 14:32-36, 15:33-34).   How many times in our own lives has someone we loved turned their back on us, albeit big or small? Have others hurled comments and slander at you throughout the time of distress- taunting you to change yourself or hurting you with words and actions?  Did God Himself seem to turn His face away and remain blind to your pain and suffering?  I assure you that the last part never has (nor ever will) happen.  Unfortunately, we cannot control the actions of others, and although they may seem to be acting ignorantly, we are called to endure and persevere in God’s love.  Does that make the pain any easier when we are in the middle of it?  Perhaps, but as the saying goes, “It may be Friday now, but Sunday is coming!”  Instead, we should be sure to surround ourselves with those that love us and care for our well being when we are in the fire (Jesus had multiple individuals who loved Him at the crucifixion) and allow them to “carry our cross” with us as we go along. 

Now, as I mentioned above- in order for there to be a resurrection, it must be preceded by death.  See, the story doesn’t end with Jesus breathing His last breath and everyone going home in tears. No!  Check out Luke 24:1-12 when the women went to visit Jesus’ tomb- only to discover Him gone and an angel sitting there to give them the good news!  Jesus said He would see them again, and that in order for the Scriptures to be fulfilled He must be crucified.  I am here today to pass this same good news on to you.  When everyone else seems to have abandoned you and all seems lost, God is always able to bring new life out of the ashes.  In fact, a resurrected life in Christ has the ability to bury the pain and shame of the past (1Cor 15:55, 57) permanently.  Better yet, it is often in times of the “new” life that Jesus speaks to us more clearly than ever before and our hearts are more receptive to His voice.  After He had appeared to the others on the road to Emmaus in Luke 24, one of the disciples said to his companion, “Did not our heart burn within us while He talked with us on the road and while He opened the Scriptures to us?” (Luke 24:32)  I’ll tell you what, when Jesus speaks to us, especially in the tough times, our hearts BURN with excitement! 

So no matter where you are in life right now- in the middle of a storm or standing on a mountaintop; whether you have been hurt and rejected by a loved one or you are sharing the Good News of redemption with someone else- know that if indeed you are a follower of Jesus Christ that Sunday is already here and we have a King to help us rise above!

“For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world- our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?”

-1John 5:4-5 (NKJV)

Being the Example

Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. -1Tim 4:12 (NKJV)

Paul admonishes Timothy with these words, entrusting him with leadership over the churches of Thessalonica, Corinth, and Macedonia.  As Christian fathers, we have the same charge put on us to model Jesus to our children first, and then to other believers.  Make no mistake, every one of these areas is challenged daily, but we should never allow falling short to hinder us from pressing forward.  I did not grow up in a Christian home or with strong role models in my parents.  They were not necessarily bad parents, but I was never provided the foundation that I would need to help me weather the onslaught of worldly temptations I would encounter later in life.  Every one of the examples Paul lists should be a priority for we dads to ensure a strong walk with the Lord ourselves, and to prepare our kids and other believers for the same. 

In word

I really do not have to go into a lengthy debate over how society has completely decayed in the way we speak to one another. Music, TV shows, and social media have enough filth in them to make you want to try to scrub yourself clean for weeks.  Toxic influences such as racism, swearing, and degradation of women flood the invisible airwaves- infecting every ear and mind within their reach. It is for this very reason that we must discipline ourselves to go against the grain and speak words of life instead.  Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but only what is good for the grace and edification of others.” Words are extremely powerful, so let’s choose them wisely. 

In conduct

In my book A Father’s Walk: A Christian-Based Resource for Single Fathers, I mention several times of how our children are always watching us and that they will imitate what they see, good or bad. If we desire to raise godly sons and daughters, then it begins with our behavior matching up with God’s Word.  Paul tells us in 1Corinthians 11:1 to “Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ”.  Plus, we all know that many nonbelievers are always looking for ways to slam Christians. Let’s not give them a reason to do so. In fact, I bet we will draw others closer to Jesus if we truly act as He did- because Jesus is irresistible like that.  Take inventory of the behavior you display daily. Does it match up with the Word? If so, great! If not, there is no time like the present to begin the reformation process. 

In love

This one should go without saying for followers of Christ. As single dads, I believe our love for our children is magnified even greater simply because we are not able to have them all of the time. Now, I am not saying that you married parents or full-custodial dads do not love your kids. I am simply speaking from the aspect of someone who is not able to see his daughter whenever he wants; and my heart aches when she is away from me. Once we tap into that unconditional love God has for us and we really grab the magnitude of the price that was paid to buy us back, His love naturally carries over into other areas of our lives. Jesus confirms this in John 15:12-13 and John does the same in his letter 1John 3:16.   

In Spirit

At the time of this writing, we are studying the book of Acts in our single dad small group. What better way is there to learn how to tap into the power of the Holy Spirit and model it to the world than Acts?  This past week I was discussing with the dads topics such as preparing our children for the world ahead of them, our pre-appointed time in life, and spiritual warfare.  The world is rapidly falling apart when it comes to family structure, values, and overall morals.  I believe God has put each one of us at this point in history for a certain reason, that we each possess a spiritual gift to influence the world for Christ and pass on to the next generation.  Could it be that our children possess even greater gifts than we do for the challenges they will be facing?  Our job as fathers is to help them unlock those gifts and equip them for adulthood.  “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you…” (Acts 1:8)  When we tap into the true power of the Holy Spirit, we equip ourselves and anyone else around us to become not only overcomers in the world, but weapons for the Kingdom of God too!

In Faith

Single parenthood will definitely stretch you when it comes to times of trusting God. Perhaps the financial ends are not meeting and only a blessing from above can help you get through the week? Or maybe times are really tough overall right now and you find yourself more desperate for God than ever- clinging to the word faith in every sense. Whatever the case may be, faith is what sustains us when all else fails. It is in these times, though, that God can often do His best work in us- if we are willing to be teachable. How do you model your complete trust in the Lord to your children? Hebrews 11:6 tells us that without faith it is impossible to please God, but then the verse reminds us that God sustains those who DILLEGENTLY seek Him- not just when our backs are up against the wall.  I encourage you to begin letting go of any fear or anxiety (big or small) that you are still holding on to. Trust God to fill in the gaps where we cannot. 

In Purity

I have a daughter who is about to turn seven. Words like “purity” are beginning to take on a whole new meaning nowadays.  She has even asked me several times lately, “How can you be my dad if you and mom were never married?”  Sigh…every father’s dream, huh?  Actually, I am not too worried about that upcoming discussion because it is another opportunity for me to show humility to my daughter and to teach her from my mistakes so that she does not repeat the same.  Generational sin is very real- but so is the favor and blessing God pours upon those who love Him and keep His commandments (Deut 7:9).  I cannot go back on what I did; but I can correct myself in the eyes of my daughter and model a life now that exemplifies purity in all areas of my life.  Going back to my beginning points on modeling godly words and behavior to our children- the world is not doing us any favors when it comes to being stewards of our bodies, minds, and tongues for God’s purposes.  Be careful how you live.  That does not mean sneak around and not let your kids find out what you’re doing.  No.  Live a life that strives for daily crucifixion of the flesh and help invest the same in your kids as well.  Trust me; it will only save them from pain and heartache years down the line if you do. 

Men, the role of a single father is not easy; and being a Christian single father only seems to add to the weight sometimes.  It may seem unobtainable- handling the everyday pressures of single parenthood and not resorting back to our flesh when we want to; but our strength and faith comes from a supernatural power that is unstoppable and incorruptible.  God has given you all you need to fight these battles, but we must continue to sharpen ourselves as well.  Know that you CAN be the example your children and the world need to see for the cause of Christ, because we are already sold out to the One who is the ultimate example!